The Fortress of Solitude

What really grinds my gears....Session 11.

2010-12-13T04:41:00.000-08:00

You know what really grinds my gears? School bus stops, at least in the Charleston area. What happened to the days when I was a kid and we had one designated bus stop that you had to walk to for everyone on your block and the surrounding 2-3 blocks? I swear to you I drove down the road in my neighborhood that can't be more than a half mile long, A HALF MILE LONG, and was stuck behind a school bus that stopped 5 times....5 TIMES!!. WHAT THE FUCK DOES A SCHOOL BUS NEED TO STOP THAT MANY TIMES ON A SMALL STREET FOR? And people wonder why the kids of today are so damn fat. They blame it on fast food and video games, but I blame it on the pampering pussy who decided that there is no longer any use for a bus stop and every damn kid should get dropped off at their own house, it's bullshit. If you're going to drop these kids off at their own damn driveway, then don't you dare turn on those fucking blinking lights telling me to stop. What do I need to stop for? To watching Tommy McTubs waddle off the bus and walk up his driveway to his house? What am I watching for? Because you have certainly eliminated the chance of there being other kids in the road. And ok, I get it, it gets a little bit cold here so kids may not want to stand outside waiting for the bus. TOO FUCKING BAD! I've waited in plenty of snow and freezing ass cold weather. We had snow ball fights. Or the pussies would have their parents drive them to the bus stop and wait with them in the car, that is still better than what these jackoffs are doing.

Maybe my area isn't the only one with this problem, maybe it is. Either way, I'm annoyed beyond belief and damn sick of it. Cut the umbilical cord, let the kids walk more than just into the yard for the bus stop. Stop making the kids fat. Stop turning them into pussies. Stop pampering them. When I was a kid I had to listen to stories about when my parents were kids and how easy we have it because they had to walk to such and such amount of snow, where did that go? Get these fuckers walking, because I AM NOT stopping behind the same bus on the same small ass street more than twice from now on, that's a promises. That douche bag bus driver can honk at me all he wants as I drive by, I'm not endangering anyone, trust me, you've made plenty sure of that.

Good to be back.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Blog revival

2010-07-16T20:02:00.000-07:00

Let's bring this community back to life, one blog at a time, shall we?

First of all, I would like to apologize. Sorry to all of my friends in Michigan, because I came home for about a week and was complete rubbish when it came to visiting friends I haven't seen in a while. I planned on visiting many, if not all, of my long lost friends but unfortunately nothing went as planned on the trip home. So please, except my apology, it was nothing personal.

To Kit, I know we made plans to hang out in the later part of the week, but like I said, my plans changed, sorry for not contacting you about it.

To Kate Potts, sorry for not responding to your text, I was quite inebriated and couldn't bring myself to type a legible message, and needless to say, I didn't remember much the next day so I didn't stumble upon your message until a few days later.

Now, to give an update on my life for all of those that care. All I really do is work, sleep and hang out with my lady friend, been with her for a little of 7 months, and am happy. No one I talk to can really believe me when I say that because she doesn't speak english, she only speaks spanish. But it's true, I am, and it's amazing how easy it is to pick up a new language when you are dating a girl that speaks only spanish, live in a house with 3 people who only speak spanish, and 70% of the people you work with only speak spanish.

I finally feel like an actual adult, don't really how I feel about that, but I'm handling it. Very well, might I add. I guess, I really don't have much else to update, at least it's a start, right?

Now maybe let's get some more updates from more Artichokers, eh?

OO-EH,
Kal El

Guess who's back, back again, Resh is back, tell a friend.

2010-03-10T06:46:00.000-08:00

Wwwwweellllll it's been along time since I've done this and I've been promising it a lot and haven't been delivering. I told Kit and Gallagher last night I would so I feel like if I don't then I would be nothing but a scruffy nerf herder, and who wants to be that.

I think last time I posted, like no videos or anything, a real post, I was talking about the move and my views on it. Well, after a few months, quite a bit has changed. I still love Michigan, a lot of people from there hate it, but I really love it, but I love South Carolina now as well. It's fucking beautiful. I'm right by the beach, it's in the 70s already, there is plenty of beautiful nature to gaze at while you drive, walk, run, or ride a bike. The Isle of Palms is probably one of my favorite spots here. you drive over the connector from the "main land", which isn't really the main land because technically I live on an island, for about 3-5 minutes driving over something of a marshy flat land that goes for miles on your left and right and going over the bridge there is a giant river that is always good for a few nice boats passing through and some houses that aren't bad to look at. You get to the Isle and it's a little bit reminiscent of a spring break city. It's got the essentials, banks, grocery stores, residential neighborhood and such, but then as you get close to the water, there are hotels, beach house(which are freaking unbelievable and I'd kill to own one some day) and plenty of bars, shops, and ice cream parlors.

I'm about 5-10 minutes from downtown Charleston, which is quite pretty itself. I'm the same distance from the ballpark to go watch the Charleston Riverdogs, the minor league team. Those games are a blast to go to, as well as the Charleston Batteries, their soccer club. It seems like everytime I decide to go for a drive I find a new local bar to go to and seems to be a Subway around every corner, love it. I also love my neighborhood, I'm in the back court of a one street residents and I enjoy all my neighbors, except for the rednecks down the street that drape a confederate flag from their garage and covered their "toys for tots" sled with confederate flags(literally covered) which I don't think anyone but them thought was necessary, but hey, it's the South(I mean, low country) so thems the breaks.

One thing I refuse to get used to is "soda", nobody down here but me says pop, it's always soda and it makes my skin crawl. I honestly had a lady look at my funny for a good 30-45 seconds trying to figure out what the hell a pop was, retards. Also, accents, I enjoy a small southern accent, but those thick accented tobacco spitting, nonshowering southerners are just as gross as they look on TV.

I just wish it was going to stay in the high 80s low 90s in the summer, not get into the high 90s low 100s like it is going to. But, oh well. I'll be back in Michigan around the 4th of July for my annual Up North trip with my friends, not sure how long I'll be in the GFA for visits, but I'll do my best. But it wouldn't hurt for you guys to get your asses down here for a visit, fuck!

I also promised Kit a Detroit Lions post after this, but I've run short on time. I promise though I will sometime this week, the positive is maybe I'll have more to talk about at the time.

OO-EH,
Kal El

WE LANDED ON MOON!

2009-10-24T08:46:00.001-07:00

This looks freakin' awesome and I can't wait for it.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Oh Billy, boy, when is it you'll find what you're looking for.

2009-09-19T12:21:00.000-07:00

Here's a nice piece of shit!

So I'm blogging again, decided to stop being lazy. The title and the first line, if you didn't know, is from Billy Madison. I think I'm going to name all my posts after some of my favorite movie quotes, and coincidentally, I think this one kind of relates to the post.

Well, I've been in South Carolina for about 2 months now, pretty much settled in, made some friends, got to know the town and am making money. Next step, try to take some classes.

But, I'm not sure if I like this life down here. Yea, I have money now, yea I'm closer to my niece and nephews and of course my sisters. I have met some cool people and I'm real close to a beautiful beach, but I don't really feel in place here. Now before I go on, I want to make sure people don't think this is some kind of whiny emo pussy post, I'm not whining, I'm not depressed or sad or anything like that, this is just how I feel and isn't that what blogging is really all about?

Anyway...

As shitty as a lot of people think and say Michigan is, I love it, I belong there. I have great friends there, the type of friends that I don't ever think I can find more like them. There the type of people that were exactly like me, I could chill with them and just hang out and have a great time no matter what we're doing. They never judged me no matter what. We liked all the same things, did all the same things, understood each other, had the exact same sense of humor, and I just can't find people down here like that. Of course, I still talk to my friends and I always here about them doing things that we always did while I was there that we did in routine, such as GBI on Mondays, Tom's on the weekends, Playland during a week day, The Loft whenever we wanted to, or just chillin at each others houses. Things I never really thought to be too special, until I no longer had them.

Needless to say, I miss my friends. I miss you guys, and especially the solid core group of friends I do all those things with. I grew up with two sisters, but hanging out with them, I finally felt like I had brothers. I moved 1,000 miles away and can't stop planning what we're going to do when I come home to visit for New Year's.

Don't get me wrong, I love being closer to my sisters and their children, I love being Uncle Adam, I love helping them with their homework and being able to be a part of their development, but, as selfish as it may sound, this isn't really for me. I'm a Michigander, I belong there. I love going up north, I love lakes, not oceans, I love warm weather, not hot weather. As dreadful as they are sometimes, I love the winter, I love snow. Minus not being able to find a job, my life seemed perfect in Michigan and I didn't really want it to change, but because of the terrible economy in Michigan, it was forced to change, it had to change.

Now, you can call me what you want, a homebody, a pussy, selfish, weak, whatever you want, I don't really care. My life is in Michigan, I belong in Michigan. I'm determined to give this place a shot, so it's not like I'm testing the waters and leaving at the first sign of being uncomfortable. I'm giving it a chance for my sisters because I know they love me and miss me when I'm in Michigan, my sister damn near cried when I left the first time. So I'm going to stay for a bit, I'm thinking 2 years. Because if there is one good thing about being down here, it's that I am driven by priorities and responsibilities. That is one thing I had a hard time doing in Michigan. So I'm going to try to go through an irresponsibility detox down here for about 2 years, save as much money as possible, get the job training I planned on getting while down here, and then probably come back to Michigan once I feel like I've done all I can/need to down here and start off on the right foot on my homecoming. Be a new and improved me, the same me, but just improved.

OO-EH from the Souf,
Kal El

"Secrets must be exposed when found. Detours must be taken when encountered. And if you are the one who stands at the crossroads or the place of concealment, you must never leave it to another to act in your place."-Qui-Gon Jinn

Moving=More Posts?

2009-07-28T12:49:00.000-07:00

Maybe.

I'm moving down south to Charleston in less than a week and will probably be posting about my new adventures.

But...

Does anyone even read these anymore?

OO-EH,
Kal El

Greatest...commercial...ever!

2009-07-20T13:22:00.000-07:00

OO-EH,
Kal El

Finally, a quality looking horror film.

2009-07-16T17:57:00.001-07:00

More The Collector News & Previews

OO-EH,
Kal El

Good Karma and Relocation.

2009-07-11T17:38:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since I've had a legit post on here, so here is some news.

I have been dog/cat/house sitting for my friends and on the first day they left I, not even 2 hours, I got a ring on the doorbell. When I answered the door, it was some religious girl trying to get me to talk and talk about god and stuff until I finally told her I don't go to church, haven't in years and that I don't ever plan on going back. I felt kind of bad with the way I said it because I guess I did come off as somewhat of a dick. She then just asked me if I could donate a couple of dollars to help send kids to a bible school, so I gave her a $5 because I felt really bad. After giving her the money and shutting the door I realized what an idiot I am and that I just got suckered out of $5. Oh well, it was a good deed. I go back to what I was doing, pouring a bowl of cereal and I lifted the tab and it said "cash prizes every 10 minutes" so I went to the website and typed in my code, sure enough, I won $5. What goes around comes around I guess.

It's now official, at the end of July/beginning of August, I am moving fffffffaaaar away. Well, Charleston, South Carolina to be exact. So you guys all have about a month left of me so you better try to soak in all the OO-EHs, crass sense of humor and rude sarcasm as you can because when it's gone, it's gone people! Maybe I'll come back for a few visits, maybe.

Well, it wasn't a long post, but it was a post. I'm now off to watch UFC 100 tonight with some friends.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Will Ferrell: Hilarious AND Charitable

2009-05-29T12:02:00.000-07:00

Will Ferrell has just launched a new sunscreen line starting with 3 SPF 30 lotions in Sun Stroke, Sexy Hot Tan and Forbidden Fruit. 100% of proceeds from sales of the lotions which sell for $12 each will go to the charity Cancer for College’s College Willpowered Scholarship Fund, which grants college scholarships to cancer survivors and amputees.

He had this to say about his new venture, “I’ve always dreamed of owning a lotion company. And I’ve always hated cancer.”

OO-EH,
Kal El

Just applied for this job, what do you think?

2009-05-28T13:24:00.000-07:00

Do you think I'm qualified?

Here is the description...

"Boys & Girls Clubs of Southeastern Michigan
James & Lynelle Holden Club

Successful candidate will meet the following criteria:

Ability to run sports and games for children 6-18 years old
Organized and dependable
Previous experience working with children
Knowledge of multiple sports and games for children
Ability to teach new games and sports to children
Knowledge of running a sports league

Hours are:
Mon-Fri
10 am-6 pm

$8-10.00 an hour"

My only problem with it is it is located in Detroit, about an hour away from my house.

OO-EH,
Kal El

For Matt...

2009-05-27T11:07:00.000-07:00

...since you are his biggest fan.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Another new saying that I now hate...

2009-05-26T19:56:00.001-07:00

...and this one is one Kit probably won't constantly say just to annoy me.

"No homo" is the saying. It means "I'm not trying to be gay but..."

Example: No homo, bro, we need to hook up soon.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Decision time, and I'd like your help.

2009-05-24T09:15:00.000-07:00

Do I stay or do I go?

I've been presented with a pretty tough decision to make.

As some of you may know, I have two sisters, who each have two children. None of which are older than 6 years old. They currently live in Florida, but within the month are moving to South Carolina. Both have been left by the supposed "men" (I call them pussies, cowards, deadbeats, douche bags, ass clowns, etc.) in their lives. My oldest sister, Shannon, has already began dating someone who is already familiar with her two boys, and her two boys adore him like he is their father. But my other sister, Erin, has a 3 year old daughter and a 1.5 year old son, and her being left was just recently. They keep telling me how easy it would be for me to get a job once I move down there, I can live with Erin in her house which has 3 bedrooms, so obviously I'll get my own room. They haven't used this argument to persuade me to come down yet, but I can just tell that Erin would like a helping hand with the two children she has, and, well, they miss me of course, who the hell wouldn't?

So I'm left with this decision and I would like the opinions of my fellow Artichokians.

Should I stay here, in Michigan, where all of my friends are, but in a shitty job market. Or move down to South Carolina(Charleston to be exact) where my nephews and niece are, I will have a job, but no friends and be forced to make new ones which I'm not really good at.

What do you guys think?

OO-EH,
Kal El

Sherlock Holmes

2009-05-20T15:01:00.000-07:00

The trailer for the new Sherlock Holmes movie looks like this movie will be pretty good. I sure hope so.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Letter to the Citizens of Metropolis.

2009-05-19T07:52:00.001-07:00

Even though I believe I'm the only one here that watches Smallville(since Steve deep down really doens't like Superman, lol) in the season 8 finale he was forced to fight Doomsday. In this season he has embraced himself as the protector of Metropolis, but in case he died at the hands of the only being that has ever killed him, he wrote this goodbye letter to the citizens of Metropolis. They didn't show what the letter said on the show, but here it is. I read it, and really liked it so I'm putting it up here.

"You have welcomed me into your city and allowed me to make it my home. I will always be grateful for that. Which is why I cannot leave without saying goodbye. This newspaper has made me into what you think I am - an example, a symbol, a "hero." But the truth is, I'm simply one of you. The only difference is that my days in the shadows and my nights in the streets have allowed me to see what you've lost sight of - the good in each of you.

I've seen regular people do extraordinary things. I've seen you help each other up after you've been knocked down. I've seen you stand together when times are tough. And I've seen the smallest act make the biggest change. If I've done anything right, I hope it's help you realize one person can make a difference in the lives of others - that Metropolis doesn't need a hero. Have faith in yourself, and you will find hope in each other.

Remember, it's not the mask that makes the hero. It's the choices we make and the desire to do what's right. I've seen that desire in all of you. It inspired me to promise I would do everything in my power to protect this city - but I can't promise that I'll be around forever. One day, there may be a fight I cannot win.

But if that day comes, please, keep fighting without me to make the world a better place. Be the heroes I know you are."

OO-EH,
Kal El

This game looks awesome.

2009-05-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

If you like Westerns, as most of us do/should, this game is going to be awesome. It is made from Rockstar and is an open world "GTA" type game, just a western. Looks great.

More Red Dead Redemption News & Previews

OO-EH,
Kal El

This is pretty cool.

2009-05-04T12:42:00.001-07:00

Thought this looked pretty cool.

OO-EH,
Kal El

I should have thought of this to get off jury duty.

2009-05-01T11:07:00.001-07:00

This guy has some balls. He wrote this letter to get out of jury duty.

Click on the picture to be able to read it.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Real life Pac-Man

2009-04-29T08:02:00.000-07:00

Haha, this video made me laugh.

OO-EH,
Kal El

My favorite time of year. The NFL Draft

2009-04-28T09:11:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a couple days and I told Matt I would do this once the draft was over, but let's just say I wanted to take a day or two to think about it first, or I'm just lazy.

Matthew Stafford, QB, 1st overall-Ever since the 2008 season ended I wanted an offensive lineman. I didn't want a QB. Culpepper came back to training camp this year 30 lbs. lighter and is looking like his old self. Even more so since he is reunited with his offensive coordinator from his successful days in Minnesota, Scott Linehan. I would have rather drafted and OT with the first pick, but, it didn't happen, I'm over it. I think Stafford was an alright choice, if he is handled correctly, he could be good. When I say handled correctly, I mean not really see any, maybe limited time this season. Now Matt has already said that he thinks Stafford would have to play 35% of the snaps this season to maximize his contract. I don't agree. I think we should be safe with him. Let him sit for a year, obviously getting some snaps in the pre-season. If he is rushed, he could turn into a bust. But if we rest him this whole season, let him learn the ups and downs of the league and the new system he is in, get to know his teammates, I think that is the way he could maximize the huge contract he was given. If he plays this year and it causes him to be a bust, we just lost a lot of money. If we rest him and next year he is stud and gets us into the playoffs consistently, then he has earned his money. The only way I want to see him pay a significant amount of time this season is if the season turns out to be an obvious wash, or if Culpepper gets hurt. But, I'm hoping Culpepper stays healthy, and I honestly don't think this season is going to be a wash.

Brandon Pettigrew, TE, 20th overall-A lot of people, along with myself, thought this pick was going to be an OT, Michael Oher to be exact. But it wasn't. It was a surprising TE, but he is the best TE in the draft and I have grown to like him, a lot. Here is why. He is huge, 6-6 around 250 lbs. He is a great blocking TE and a great receiver who is another huge target for our QB. In a way, he could serve as an OT in the TE position because of his great blocking skills. I'm going to put another selection in this review section because they go well together. TE Dan Gronkowski, there 7th round selection. He is another huge TE who will serve well as a blocker and is a decent receiver. Our coordinator, Linehan, likes to run a 2 TE set and what better TEs to have in that system than two huge, blocking TEs who can also catch a ball. These two will help out our O-Line giving them extra people to help block opposing DEs and opening up space for our receivers and running backs. They can also help chip away at DEs or LBs to slow them down then jump out for a pass and get the balled dumped to them to move the chains. Also, along with Calvin Johnson who stands at 6'5", we will be a red zone team that no one will want to mess with. That's what you want in the red zone, big tall players with great leaping ability(which Pettigrew has with a basketball background, and Johnson has because he is a freak) to get over everyone and bring the ball down in the end zone for 6. I like these picks.

Louis Delmas, S, 33rd overall-When this pick came along, I was thinking Rey Maualuga was going to be our starting MLB this season. But again, I was surprised when they picked Louis Delmas. I was a bit angry at the time, but like Pettigrew, he grew on me. Delmas is a hard hitting, knock the snot out of you, safety. Much like Bob Sanders with the Colts. When Sanders isn't on the field, the Colts run defense takes a huge dive. Delmas could be the defensive leader we wanted and needed. He is also a quick ball hawk who will keep QBs scared to through and cause them to hesitate, or he could jump the line of scrimmage and get a sack on the QB or at least hurry him into and incompletion or an INT. I like this pick, although I believe we could have maybe got him later, I still like it. He will be an instant starter and a hard hitter, which we need and Coach Schwartz said he wants on his defense.

DeAndre Levy, LB, 76th overall-I honestly don't know much about this guy except what I have read from the people who drafted him. He is a hard hitter and can knock downhill running backs on their asses. So I like him. They are considering starting him at MLB, he is a bit undersized, but hey, we will see.

Derrick Williams, WR/RS, 82nd overall-This guy is small, and quick. And for those who don't know what the RS stands for, Return Specialist, which is just what we need, badly. Our return game was horrendous last year and he is only going to help it get better. So obviously, he is going to be an instant starter for special teams and might even see some playing time at WR. I like this pick.

Sammie Lee Hill, DT, 115th overall-This is by far my favorite pick in the draft for the Lions. I am so happy we got this guy. He is the huge run stopper we needed to plug up the wholes in our D-Line. If he succeeds, Delmas, Sim, Peterson, Levy, OUR DEFENSE succeeds. IF coached properly this mammoth 6'4" 329 lbs. DT will be our saviour and I really hope this works out because he is a great kid with a great heart. Also is the hero type. He and friends once helped an old man from a burning building. Look it up. Love this kid. Love his heart. Love his size.

This is all I can type now. If someone wants to know what I think about the other 2 or 3 picks, just make a comment about it and I let you know. My hands are starting to hurt.

Here's to a successful 2009 season!

OO-EH,
Kal El

Ruining Gym Class

2009-04-25T08:37:00.001-07:00

I just saw this and was outraged. This is courtesy of www.thelifefiles.com.

"We just caught a recent episode Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel and were surprised to learn that in schools all across America various Principals and gym teachers are changing physical education the way we remember it. Games like dodgeball, jump rope and tag which may cause kids to get hurt are being removed for safer games - like playing tag by stepping on someones shadow, not touching them and jumping rope without the actual rope, just moving your hands like a crazy person. Taking it one step further other gym teachers are removing all games that require competition, so the kids can never be “winners” or “losers” again. Sounds like fun………

Is this as stupid as we think it is??? Or are these teachers right….

Now would be time to talk about you bitter childhood memories….LOSER! (we kid.)"

HOW RIDICULOUS IS THAT? BULLSHIT!

OO-EH,
Kal El

Superman on "The Ronnie Johns Half Hour"

2009-04-22T22:14:00.000-07:00

I thought this was pretty funny, in sort of a simple way.

OO-EH,
Kal El

My favorite children's show of all time.

2009-04-18T08:27:00.000-07:00

Eureeka's Castle. For so many years people always made fun of me because I don't eat the traditional PB&J. I just eat peanut butter sandwiches. Well, thanks to wikipedia, I figured out why. Because in my favorite T.V. show as a child, Eureeka's Castel, my favorite characters, Bogge and Quagmire, LOVED peanut butter sandwiches and that is ALL they ate.

If you've never heard of Eureeka's Castle, shame on you, but here is the opening theme anyway. Just imagine a 5 year old, blonde haired little Adam sitting on the floor in front of the T.V. with my eyes glued and my chocolate milk and cookies my mom always had waiting for me. Singing along, of course.

Eureka's Castle Intro - The best free videos are right here

OO-EH,
A nostalgic Kal El

Pictures from Iraq

2009-04-11T07:28:00.000-07:00

Here are some pictures from one of my best friend, David's, time in Iraq. Some are from his first deployment and some from his second.

Fortunately, I get to pick him up from the airport for leave in May and take him home to surprise his parents who aren't aware he is coming home. Unfortunately, it's a month away and has to go back when leave is over. Here's to hoping he makes it home safely.

OO-EH,
Kal El

New E-Mail Address

2009-04-10T14:05:00.000-07:00

aresh86@comcast.net

Can....'t....fucking.....wait!

2009-04-09T07:31:00.000-07:00

I am fucking pumped for this movie. Seth Rogen is my idol!

OO-EH,
Kal El

GM x Segway P.U.M.A

2009-04-08T07:55:00.000-07:00

Here are a few questions. Will this really help GM stay out of bankruptcy? Would you drive this around your city? Will they ban cabs, buses and trucks to avoid mass murder? Hit the jump to see the final concept! It will debut this week in New York for the auto show. Did I mention it seats 2 and goes up to 35MPH?

OO-EH,
Kal El

The Horse Chandelier

2009-04-08T07:52:00.000-07:00

The horse chandelier designed by fashion designer Stella McCartney is now on display at Belsay Castle in the UK.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Mutant Chronicles.

2009-03-26T10:13:00.000-07:00

Never heard of this until I watched this, but it looks like it has potential.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-03-25T19:12:00.000-07:00

Hopefully this movie is good....do you guys think it will be?

OO-EH,
Kal El

I need these shoes.

2009-03-19T09:52:00.000-07:00

The new Puma L.I.F.T. shoes. Need them.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Double Pits to Chesty.

2009-03-18T19:05:00.000-07:00

MLA put a funny commercial that made her laugh. So I'm doing this one. I saw this in the movie theater before the previews started and it was real quiet and I laughed my ass off, loudly, and looked like an idiot. Totally worth it.

OO-EH,
Kal El

I need to see this!

2009-03-14T11:45:00.001-07:00

A documentary about the greatest boxer of all time.

"Iron" Mike Tyson.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Johnny Depp...Public Enemies.

2009-03-10T11:01:00.000-07:00

This is the trailer for the new movie "Public Enemies" starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale.

I can't wait to see it!

OO-EH,
Kal El

New feature, plus Lions talk.

2009-03-04T14:21:00.000-08:00

I just added a new widget to my blog. As you can see on the sidebar under the links to the other blogs in our community, is a "Lions News" widget. Since I love talking about the Lions, and rarely find time to blog unless I have a specific reason, I put it there in case someone (probably only Matt and Kit) sees something on there they want to talk about, or hear something they want to talk about, I urge you to just comment on the latest post, my email will inform me, and I will make a post answering your question and discussing more things as soon as possible.

On that note, the Lions have made a few free agent signings. They aren't anything HUGE, but they are very good additions. For starters...

-WR Bryant Johnson. Johnson is a good combo of size (6'3", 211 lbs.) and speed. He will definitely compete for the second spot opposite the other Johnson in that position, Calvin, who is 6'5" and disgustingly fast. This is a good thing, especially for a team like the Lions who don't exactly have a franchise quarterback. Obviously, when a receiver is big, it is easier to get them the ball because the range of targeted space is larger than say, a 5'11" speed receiver. Another free agent signing, well, resigning I would love to see from them is Shaun McDonald, the Lions slot receiver from the passed couple years. With two large targets spreading the defense from the outside, and quick McDonald running across the center of the field, it should be easy for projected starter, Daunte Culpepper, to find open targets, especially with an addition they made I am going to talk about next. This addition was much needed since Culpepper never really was known for his accuracy.

-RB Maurice Morris. Maurice is a good veteran running back, who is still quite young at the age of 29. Morris is somewhat of a career backup. For the last 7 years, he has been playing for Seattle. There, he started out backing up Pro-Bowler and one time MVP Shaun Alexander, until last season when he backed up Julius Jones for the same team. I love this signing. I love it because, we have our running back in second year pro, Kevin Smith. Smith proved last year to be a very solid RB and a potential game breaker. Another thing I like about this is Morris' role up until now, a back up. He knows what he is and he knows what he is expected to do. In the NFL, 29 is considered to be the start of decline for a running back because of all the wear and tear on their bodies. But Morris, being a back up his entire career, hasn't received the punishment most backs have. Plus, he has always been a great back up, many times considered to be starting caliber on other teams. We now have a "two-headed" tandem in our backfield. Now we just need to shore up our offensive line.

-We re-signed Kicker, Jason Hanson, enough said.

-DT Grady Jackson. Jackson is huge. I am talking 6'2" 350 lbs. Although he is rather old, 36, Jackson is a great run stopper. One of the best the league has seen. I am pleased because this might mean Cory Redding will go back to his old self when he had another huge nose tackle, Shaun Rogers, commanding a lot of double teams, as will Jackson. The only thing that would make me happier about this signing is if the Lions went out and got Jackson's old running mate, DT Rod Coleman, who is also a free agent and a GREAT run stopper, and a few years younger, 32. This move would allow Cory Redding to move to defensive end, where instead of being a somewhat undersized DT, he will be a powerful, somewhat oversized DE. Leaving our D-Line looking like this DE-White DT-Jackson DT-Coleman DE-Redding. That is a beastly line and would fit perfect in new head coach Swartz's "We must get bigger and stronger" philosophy. This move would also sure up what we would do with out first pick in the draft. We could move second year DE, Cliff Avril, to OLB opposite Ernie Sims, and draft Aaron Curry to man MLB. Aaron curry has been projected by most draft "experts" as the safest pick in the draft, and smartest (in my opinion, too) pick for the Lions. The only downside is the age of the two DT's. But this downside also comes with an upside. We have a young, one time promising DT in Shaun Cody. He is big. 6'2", 310 lbs. He just hasn't really progressed, his only real mentor was Shaun Rogers, who was always so out of shape he would be forced to take plays off. Not a good mentor. Jackson and Coleman are both great veterans and leaders who could teach Cody a few things and hopefully help develop him.

-CB Anthony Henry. I am happy with this acquisition. All we lost was Jon Kitna, and let's face it, his career with Detroit was done last season, so no real loss there. Henry is a solid veteran back who will help sure up our secondary a little bit. Let's just hope we resign Leigh Bodden, whom we cut earlier this off-season for "cap reasons."

I think that's it for now. Any questions, comments of concerns? Just comment and we can discuss.

Here's hoping for the best this off-season...

OO-EH,
Kal El

My heart is broken.

2009-02-27T14:54:00.000-08:00

I always knew one day he would retire. Every year I was hoping it wouldn't happen. He hasn't retired. It's worse.

My hero, idol, Brian Dawkins became a free agent today. And the Broncos picked him up. He is going to retire a FUCKING BRONCO! WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THE EAGLES AND WHY DID THEY NOT RESIGN THE MAN WHO HAS BEEN THERE LEADER, THEIR BEST PLAYER, THEIR ENTIRE FUCKING DEFENSE.

I am beyond pissed off. I am heart broken.

No OO-EH this time,
Kal El

In dedication of my hero, here is his highlight clip of his career with the Philadelphia Eagles, probably the best career for a safety in NFL history.

Bitch, get off of your high horse.

2009-02-21T23:52:00.000-08:00

To be honest, this is another "Grind My Gears" session. So this should really be, "What Really Grinds My Gears Session 12." But I figured I have done too many in the past few posts, so I'll change it up a bit. Plus I thought this title would draw more attention.

But...

...You know what really grinds my gears? People that are on their high horse, especially with no particular reason. It all started about a year and a half ago. A few weeks, maybe a month, before I moved back to Grand Blanc from Ann Arbor, my friend started "dating" this girl. Now I put that in quotations because myself and other friends could never figure out what exactly they were and they never gave us straight answers. But anyway...

...this girl is pretty much, well....a bitch. She annoys the hell out of me. But since I've known her, my friend has been "dating/infatuated" with her, so I've always bit my tongue, and sometimes, as some of you know, is kind of hard for me. Lately, she has really, REALLY, pissed me off to the point where I almost burst with anger and bitch her out so bad that she would look like such a fucking idiot that she would never be able to show her face around anyone who was there to witness the rant and possibly any of her friends because it would be such an epic rant that people would be talking about it for years. But, being a good friend, I continue to hold my tongue.

To give you a bit of a description of her, she doesn't have a mind of her own. She is a republican. She is obsessed with Lil' Wayne(which should be a reason to hate her, but, we won't get into that). She is OBSESSED with diet and exercise, although she wolfs down food like it actually has legs and is about to run away. For example, my friend, her and her friend went to see "Friday the 13th"(which I loved). I was the only one to get popcorn. For some odd reason that I can't even begin to think of, she sat next to me. Surprisingly, I was able to actually watch the movie despite her tapping me every 5 seconds, saying "Resh, can I just get ONE more handful of popcorn, I swear it's my last." This cunt(Yes, I said cunt) did this about 15 times during the movie. I almost got up and yelled, "TAKE THE FUCKING POPCORN! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP" But, being the good friend I am, I didn't. And did I mention, her opinions are always, ALWAYS, right and there is no possible argument, not even in you have UNDENIABLE PROOF!, that will win against her. Whatever she says is "right." If she said the world is flat and you tried to argue with her, although you and everyone in the room knew you were right, you would just want to rip your fucking hair out, poke your eyes out, and be given the world's most epic titty twister just to be able to take your mind off of her mind numbing ignorance.

Now, those of you that know me, know that I LOVE sports and am obsessed with sports medicine and everything there is to know about getting in shape. From what is the healthiest, to what is the least healthiest way to get in shape. Well, one night, she tells us this new diet her and her friend(extremely gorgeous, I mean perfect) are going on. I, in a friendly manner, put in my 2 cents about the diet. I even stated that I had no problem with them going on the diet, because it was none of my business, I was just trying to help them out. Well, she takes this as an opportunity to argue with me and tell me that she is right, I am wrong, end of discussion. OK, I can let this slide. Barely, but I can let this slide.

BUT! This bitch crossed the line the other night(but, again, for my friend, I bit my tongue. Which I wish I didn't because I swear I wanted to make this bitch wish she never lived. You guys will understand because it has to do with you). I, one night, started to talk about our camp, Wewabeca, which I mentioned to all of my friends before. Well, one night, I told them the exciting news about us getting our first camper. And the first thing this STUPID BITCH asked me was....

"What is the name of your camp?"

"Wewabeca, it means, We WAnt A BEtter CAmp."

Well, apparently I just made a joke. Because her and her stuck up friend thought it was hilarious and just kept laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing(You'd think I'd over do it with the "and laughing" but no, this is how much they laughed.) Even my friend, who always takes things light hearted and lets things roll off his shoulder, thought this was fucked up. They wouldn't even let me get a word in after that. Wouldn't let me explain what we were about, what we were trying to do, nothing.

Given my year long history of holding my tongue with all the ignorant, retarded shit she says ALL THE TIME! I finally snapped. Unfortunately, for you guys, I'm not going to put that rant on there because, well, it was more of a blind rage so I don't really remember what I said to her, I just remember the priceless look on her face after I was done. It was one of those "OMG, I like, can't believe someone actually talked like that to me." It felt great, amazing. I was so happy to get a year's worth of frustration out on this worthless cum rag of a person. I hate her. I hate her with a passion. She is one of those people that you hate SO MUCH that you actually would rather have bad things happen to yourself, than good things happen to her. That is how much I hate her. I would rather be hit by a bus and paralyzed from the waste down than have her win the lottery. I hate her, hate her. She's a bitch.

But, being spiteful isn't my thing, that's why I have a blog. So, after I hit the "Publish Post" button, I will forget about this and give this girl a clean slate...That's just the way I am.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Superman Returns....to the Slam Dunk Contest...

2009-02-19T12:48:00.000-08:00

...but loses.

Last year when Dwight Howard did his "Superman" dunk he has been called Superman since. This year in the Slam Dunk Contest, he came out of a phone booth dress in a Superman cape to the Superman theme and dunked on a 12 foot rim(regulation is 10 ft.) easily. But didn't win.

Why didn't he win? Nate Robinson beat him. Dwight Howard is 6'11". Nate Robinson is 5'9". How did Nate Robinson win it? He finished by dunking over top of the 6'11" Dwight Howard while he was wearing his Superman cape. Nate Robinson went in the back to change before his dunk and came out in a green New York Knicks uniform, with green shoes, a green arm sleeve and in the final round, a green ball. He dunked over Dwight using the green ball and called himself "Kryptonate" instead of Kryptonite. And won. Here it is.

First, Dwight Howard's dunk from last year to get dubbed "Superman"

Now, this years from Nate Robinson:(it starts at about 1:09, remember, 5'9" over 6'11")

I love the Slam Dunk Contest now that they have Superman themes.

OO-EH,
Kal El

What really grinds my gears....Session 10.

2009-02-18T17:47:00.000-08:00

You know what really grinds my gears? LADY BUGS! I FUCKING HATE LADY BUGS!!!

I remember being a kid and people telling me if I saw a lady bug, it was good luck. They were pretty rare and a delight to see. Now-a-days it seems like these little assholes are EVERYWHERE! It's annoying. I hate them. I already hate bugs, but especially hate nosey bugs. These little fuckers will just crawl on anything they can crawl on and multiply and multiply no matter how many I kill. I hate them. Some of these bastards even bite. How could anyone EVER think these ugly pieces of shit were good luck? If they were good luck then I would have won the lottery or struck oil or something like that by now. But nope, I'm broke and oilless. Fuck these things. I am putting out a hit on EVERY lady bug you see. If you see it, kill that fucker. Even go out of your way to kill the fuckers if you have to. Now, I already stated I was broke, so there will be no money reward for each lady bug you kill, just do it because they are annoying.

Has anyone else noticed the increase in the population of lady bugs lately? And by lately I mean past year or so. It's annoying, bugs are gross. I'm done.

OO-EH,
Kal El

What really grinds my gears....Session 9.

2009-02-16T09:18:00.000-08:00

It's back. It's been a while. A lot of things since my last session have certainly caused my gears to grind, but not enough for a post. But now, I do have something.

Warning: This post is about video games.

You know what really grinds my gears? Halo 3 and the dumb people that make it, Bungie. I really hope they read this and fix all the mistakes I am about to point out.

For starters, spawn points. Why in the fuck would they ever think it a good idea to spawn the other team behind you? It totally negates the idea of team work. In Halo, the best form of team work is to stick together and hold down a spot in the map. But here is the kicker, if you're holding a spot down, you are sure enough going to get picked off or beat down(or picked down and beat off? No?) and it is going to force your team to spread out, and cause your shitty people that you get matched up with to fend for themselves and essentially get destroyed(I refuse to use the word pwned, if that's how you spell it) and lose the game for you.

To continue with spawn points, why would you spawn someone in the middle of a battle? Why would you spawn someone next to a Warthog occupied by the other team and get gunned down by a turret? This shit just doesn't make any sense what so ever. I mean, I get they that they want to keep it random so people can't spawn kill, but in the campaign it refuses to spawn you in the middle of combat, WHY CAN'T THEY IMPLEMENT THAT INTO ONLINE PLAY?

Now, the dreaded "Noob Combo." The "Noob Combo" is when someone runs at you with a charger plasma pistol to take down your shield instantly then hit you once with a Battle Rifle. I realize they changed the pistol a little bit from Halo 2 so while your charging it, it wastes away, but still. Get rid of the fucking plasma pistol, that is it's only use and it pisses people off. Very seldom do you see people using it to power down a vehicle. GET RID OF IT!

Now on to EXP(Experience Points). This isn't really a big deal, it just annoys me because it gives shitty people the false hope that they are actually good. The way they do EXP now has taken all of the honor out of Brigadier status and General? I think that is the highest one. It is dumb for a few reasons. If you play enough games(Not sure on the amount) it will automatically move you up to this status. Halo should be like the workplace, just because you have been there forever doesn't necessarily mean you deserve a promotion. If Tommy Dumbshit has been muddling his way around the Mail Room for 30 years, you aren't going to promote him to President of the company just because he has been there the longest.

Another problem with EXP is quitters. If you quit, you lose an EXP. Yes, you're level goes down, BUT if you have very little EXP(which you will if you keep quitting) you level up a lot faster. So, if you're getting your ass whooped in a game, you're already going to level down, why not quit and lose an EXP so you can level up faster on wins. It also screws you over when someone is hell bent on getting their EXP down and their level up, so they get into your game, quit, and you're down a man and , more times than not, lose. It's fucked up.

Next, Smashed. The new level Bungie made, well, recreated out of Foundry. That map SUCKS SOMETHING FIERCE. If there was an award for worst map every constructed, this map would get it. That is all I'm saying about it. It's just shitty. Ok, that's all I'm going to say on it.

The Spartan Laser. Dumb weapon. Dumb, dumb weapon. In maps like Standoff, it is an unfair advantage. Well, I guess you can't really classify it as an advantage because both teams have an equal chance at getting it, but once that happens, the fun is over. There is no sniper in the map so all the guy with the laser does is stand in the back and dominate and is virtually untouchable. Please, just get rid of the laser. How will you destroy vehicles you ask? Easy, make the Rocket Launcher lock on to vehicles like it did in Halo 2. Much better weapon.

That is all for now, I guess. Whoever actually made it past this post's warning might have some questions. Why do I still play it if I have so many complaints? Easy, loyalty. I loved the first 2 and will never stop playing it, just want it fixed. And, I will probably get accused of just whining because it sounds like I am just getting my ass whooped in the game. No, I am complaining because it makes it boring. I have been on both the receiving end and the giving end and both are equally shitty. I've stood in the back with the laser a few times and dominated, it's just boring.

I am starting to think that Bungie has taken all their gamer's loyalty for granted. They knew a lot of them would still play it because of the Halo name, but they made it easier for people who suck at video games and this game in particular. This game is built for noobs and it's annoying.

I sure hope that Halo 3: ODST is better and more realistic since you are no longer a Spartan. Let us hope.

I know this wasn't as vulgar and full of swears like my previous gears posts, and for my fans, I apologize. The next one will be jam packed full of vulgarity and unpleasantness.

OO-EH,
Kal El

WHO THE FUCK CARES!

2009-02-07T10:10:00.000-08:00

THIS JUST IN!!! BACK IN 2003 A-ROD TESTED POSITIVE FOR STEROIDS!! OMG OMG OMG OMG.

Seriously, are people really STILL surprised that every stud in baseball past and present was on steroids? Come the fuck on.

Can't we just assume every player is juicin' and just say fuck it and be done with it. No matter how many people get snitched on and how many sluggers go to court for it, they are still going to cheat to try to get that extra step. There is no way to stop them. As long as there are untraceable substances out there players are going to keep doing it. I know it's not right, but sadly, that is just baseball these days. I'm not proud to say that America's favorite pass time is filled with a bunch of cheaters, but it is, and snitching on a few all star sluggers and dragging it out for years and years(Barry Bonds) it's not going to end. So stop talking about it. FUCK!

OO-EH,
Kal El

Welcome to Sixburgh!

2009-02-02T09:45:00.000-08:00

No, I'm not a huge Steelers fan. Yes, I hate the Cardinals. Yes, I hate Kurt Warner(even more because right before the Super Bowl he started to talk about Spygate again and thinks the Rams should have won it over the Patriots even though they confirmed they didn't tape the walk through) Yes, I love Philadelphia. Yes, the Cardinals beat them to go to the Super Bowl. And yes, I can still be happy for the Sixburgh Steelers because they are from Pennsylvania so we can share some of the glory.

OH YEA! I ALMOST FORGOT! An Ohio State Buckeye caught the game winning touchdown!

OH YEA! I ALMOST FORGOT! An Ohio State Buckeye was the Super Bowl MVP!

So for Santonio Holmes, let's talk about championships he has won. He has one in every level he has played.
-High School State Championship.
-College National Championship(GO BUCKS!)
-NFL Super Bowl Championship(In which he was the MVP)

Come on all you Wolverines, I've already talked to many of you people, that's right, YOU PEOPLE, and they have agreed to give credit where credit was due.

Hey, what's there to be mad about, guys? At least Woodley(U of M) and Foote(U of M) caused and recovered that last fumble at the end. Also Woodley went to my Senior Prom in high school so I have to give him his props.

Also, since Matt has changed to that blog that I am 100% not a fan of, does anyone else(I suggest MLA) want to put all the blogroll updates on their side bar like the Artichoke(R.I.P.) used to have? I feel like I don't check blogs anymore if I don't have an update notification, yea, I'm lazy like that.

OO-EH,
Kal El

My new obsession

2009-01-20T16:32:00.000-08:00

With the recent freezing temperatures, nothing outside of my house has seemed at all appealing to me, I usually just lay around and watch T.V. I flipped through the channels and decided to give "House" a chance. I loved it, great show. I am currently in hour 7 of the 17 hour marathon and there are no signs of me slowing down.

Love this show, if you don't watch it, I suggest giving it a shot.

OO-EH,
Kal El

My Porn Star I.D.

2009-01-14T18:18:00.000-08:00

OO-EH,
Kal El

Attempted robbery ends in NFL discussion.

2009-01-14T18:02:00.000-08:00

This past week, Michael Irvin has proved that if you are an NFL Hall of Famer, you are immune to danger in the town in which you brought football greatness.

Former Dallas Cowboys Wide Receiver and Hall of Fame inductee, Michael Irvin, was driving in North Dallas when someone pulled up next to him at a traffic light to rob him. Here is the article telling what happened, and Irvin's reaction.

"A passing motorist pointed a handgun at former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin as he drove in Far North Dallas on Monday night, according to a police report. The Pro Football Hall of Fame member was not injured. He told police he stopped at a red light in the 18200 block of Marsh Lane, near Bush Turnpike, about 9:30 p.m., when the driver of the vehicle next to him rolled down his window, the police report said. Irvin put down his window because he thought someone wanted to talk to him and saw the passenger in the other vehicle raise a gun, the report said. Irvin said in an interview Tuesday night that he feared the men had planned to rob him and changed their minds when they saw who he was. "The passenger pulled out a semiautomatic and I knew what time it was," Irvin said. "But he said 'Oh, that's Michael Irvin, with the Dallas Cowboys.'." Despite being scared, Irvin said he tried to keep the conversation going. "So we started talking about the Cowboys and everything," he said. "Then they got back on the highway." "I tell you what, I'm glad he was a Cowboy fan," Irvin said."

Crazy. I wonder if it's true that in Texas you get a handgun every time you buy liquor just like in Family Guy.

OO-EH,
Kal El

9

2009-01-09T10:33:00.000-08:00

This movie looks really good to me.

OO-EH,
Kal El

THEY MADE IT!

2008-12-28T22:40:00.000-08:00

THE EAGLES MADE THE PLAYOFFS! After being counted out, they still made it. Also, the Cowboys missed the playoffs so now the Lions get an earlier second 1st rd. pick.

Matt, are the Saints in the playoffs? Ha.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Hopefully this guy is right.

2008-12-27T22:49:00.000-08:00

I was doing some sports reading online and saw this comment from a person on an article. I hope it is all true, and be sure I will be tuned into that radio station all day monday.

Here it is:

Fellas believe what you want to believe. I have my source.

Make sure you have 97.1 on Monday all day. It's going to be an exciting day and a sad one. Marinelli is a good man but he's overmatched as a head coach in the NFL. Marinelli will most likely head back to Tampa Bay as the DC for Gruden.

Now on to the good news again. The Lions will hold a press conference either Monday morning at 11:00 or 2:00 in the afternoon. Lewand will announce Marinelli and his staff have been relieved of their duties. Lewand will announce Mayhew will remain with the Lions as their head of scouting or a scout or understudy to the next GM. The Lions think highly of Mayhew but he's just not ready for the job.

The Lions have been speaking to Ron Wolf for quite sometime. In fact Terry Foster is going to have a story in the Detroit News next week about it. Ron Wolf will be the Lions next GM. He will then try to pry Hemedinger (OC) or Schwartz (DC) from the Titans. If those avenues fail then Wolf will turn his attention to Rex Ryan in Baltimore.

I trust my source. In fact Terry Foster leaked some of this information yesterday afternoon on his drivetime show. He said exactly everything I've been saying to you guys for the past week and Terry even went on record to guarantee this will happen (meaning the entire scenario I've painted for you above).

This process will take three weeks to complete but rest assured things will be changing for the Lions and they will begin on Monday. This is regardless of what happens tomorrow at Lambeau Field.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Message to William Clay Ford Jr.-"DUR DUR DUUUURRR!"

2008-12-22T09:01:00.000-08:00

You've got to be kidding. William Clay Ford Sr., with the garbage product he disguises as a football team, actually said he wanted his two-headed front-office team to RETURN next year? It's beyond belief, isn't it? On a day when the Lions players showed how truly awful they had become, the owner one-upped them in ineptitude. It was like the owner of the Titanic, as the ship was sinking, announcing, "Next I'm gonna build an airplane." Ford wins the prize. He is the worst. He is the biggest problem in this franchise and easily the most maddening. The fact he can contemplate returning anybody or anything from what already has tied the worst single-season losing streak in NFL history is incomprehensible. And yet there he was, telling a Booth Newspapers reporter before Sunday's 42-7 loss that he wanted Tom Lewand and Martin Mayhew back next year, possibly in their roles as chief operating officer and general manager. Those would be the current roles that have led to 0-15.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Absolutely outraged.

2008-12-19T09:55:00.001-08:00

I swear I hope this is not true.

Please someone confirm to me this is false. I thought it was a joke/rumor at first but I just heard someone say it was true on the radio.

Eddie Murphy was cast as the Riddler in the new Batman movie? And Rachel Weisz as Cat Woman?

And Steve, you were upset about the great Johnny Depp playing the Riddler? Now see what you get?

Eddie Murphy's career died after Beverly Hills Cop. And, not to be racist, but since when is the Riddler black? Has he ever been?

And Rachel Weisz, I enjoyed her in The Mummy, maybe even The Mummy Returns, but Cat Woman? She might be passable, but if Eddie Murphy is The Riddler, then this movie will be a disgrace to the two previous ones.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Greatest Water Advert Ever.

2008-12-04T09:16:00.000-08:00

OO-EH,
Kal El

Doomsday!

2008-11-14T11:57:00.001-08:00

OO-EH,
Kal El

Faith the Dog(must watch)

2008-11-13T10:27:00.001-08:00

OO-EH,
Kal El

Why?

2008-11-11T19:54:00.000-08:00

If you were the Lions and your already has you scouting next year's top prospects, why would you take Drew Stanton out of a game that he starts 4/6 for 94 yards and a TD? That doesn't make sense. Why aren't they planning for the future? Why aren't they starting all of their highly touted draft picks? Why are they dumb? Why?

OO-EH,
Kal El

Good song, amazing video.

2008-11-07T22:46:00.000-08:00

This video was shot originally with real people, then sent to Hong Kong for 65 animators to go over every pixel.

This is also one of my new favorite songs for some reason.

Heartless from kwest on Vimeo.

OO-EH,
Kal El

I want this man making Superman films.

2008-10-29T16:45:00.001-07:00

Mark Millar keeps gaining my support more and more to start making Superman films. Here is what he had to say about his vision.

Mark Millar wants to create an epic 8-hour screen story which will follow the entire life of Kal-El from his birth on Krypton a thousand years ago, until he is the last being left on Earth.

Empire sat down for a chat with comic book writer and creator Millar, the man behind Wanted and the upcoming Kick-Ass, and he filled us in on his pitch for the follow-up to Superman Returns.

"Mark has been working closely with a ‘big-Hollywood action director’ – who he refuses to name at this stage – on a pitch for what he is calling the Magnum Opus of Superman stories. His idea is for an 8-hour saga, split into 3 films to be released a year apart, in a Lord of the Rings fashion. Although several other sources have reported similar conversations with Mark, he went into further detail, fleshing out the story arc a little more.

“It’s gonna be like Michael Corleone in the Godfather films, the entire story from beginning to end, you see where he starts, how he becomes who he becomes, and where that takes him. The Dark Knight showed you can take a comic book property and make a serious film, and I think the studios are ready to listen to bigger ideas now.”

“The problem with Superman Returns was like releasing Star Wars in ’77, The Empire Strikes Back in ’80 and then waiting 28 years to release Return of the Jedi, it wasn’t relevant. I understand what Bryan Singer was trying to do, to pay homage to Richard Donner’s original vision, but I think you should pay homage by doing something completely different.”

“I want to start on Krypton, a thousand years ago, and end with Superman alone on Planet Earth, the last being left on the planet, as the yellow sun turns red and starts to supernova, and he loses his powers."

Certainly no-one can ever say that Millar lacks vision and if he and his ‘bigHollywoodaction director’ friend get backing for the project, and we certainly hope they do, it might just prove to be the Godfather of superhero films."

OO-EH,
Kal El

Too Little, Too Late.

2008-10-28T17:28:00.001-07:00

Warning: This post is about the Detroit Lions. Since Matt is the only one to really ever respond or show interest in these posts, I am putting this up so those who don't care don't have to waste their time reading. But if you're interested, please, read on.

I woke up this morning to reports that the Lions were having a Pro-Bowl player coming in to work out for them. Usually, I would be the happiest man on the planet upon recieving this news, but I'm not.

The reason is because of who it is. Daunte Culpepper. Anyone who watches football, Culpepper's best years were with the Minnesota Vikings when he was teamed with freak-of-nautre wide reciever, Randy Moss. Culpepper was a young QB with accuracy, a cannon arm, and had lots of mobility. Culpepper and Moss were thought to be one of, if not the best WR/QB combination in the NFL. Eventually, Moss, with his flamboyant attitude and me first mentality, became a problem for fans and ownership. He was shipped to Oakland a few years back(now with the Patriots) and Culpepper's career has gone down hill since then.

He has always had trouble holding onto the ball when he ran with it or got sacked. Without Moss to dump it off to for a guaranteed catch, he was sacked more and more, losing the ball more and more. Needless to say, he wasn't the same Daunte. One sack ended his career that season when he tore 3 ligaments in his knee and required surgery. Once he was healthy and back able to play, he was traded to the Miami Dolphins where he was not the same Daunte, then shipped to Oakland(the year after they got rid of Moss incidently) and he wasn't the same Daunte, but did show more improvements.

For this entire 2008-09 season he has been in the news talking about retiring because no team was going to pay him what he was worth, correction, what he THOUGHT he was worth. Due to his knee injury and his age(31 going on 32) he isn't as mobile as he used to be.

For anyone who has watched the Lions this year, for the first 4 games they lost, Quarterback was a big problem for them. I hate to age discriminate, but I think Kitna's years are behind him, he was forcing too many balls and giving up on too many plays(i.e. the game against Green Bay). In comes Dan Orlovsky who had a shaky start at first but has improved each game and has yet to throw an interception. So it is safe to say that our Quarterback is not losing our games for us anymore.

So why waste money on a new Quarterback while you have one that has so far proven to be worthy? I'm not completely counting Culpepper out because if he is back to 100% mentally and physically, there is a possibility he can help us. It will be a risk, with a potential upside, but still not a risk I'm completely willing to make. We might as well save the money.

Right now, I'm at work bored, but things are starting to pick up so I have to cut this post short, maybe I'll continue it later.

OO-EH,
Kal El

November 4th

2008-10-24T10:31:00.000-07:00

On November 4th, while you're voting YES on Prop 2, don't forget to vote YES on Prop 1, the legalization of medical marijuana.

Here are some reasons...

For more info, go to www.StopArrestingPatients.org

OO-EH,
Kal El

can...not...wait...

2008-10-22T18:50:00.000-07:00

I have been waiting for this for so long!

OO-EH,
Kal El

Can't live without my iPod anymore.

2008-10-09T07:10:00.000-07:00

Months ago my iPod went down the crapper. Needed to be restored. It's happened to me before, so I didn't panic. Until I realized it was really broke this time and needed to be fixed. I figured it dead to me because my warranty was up but all my friends tell me "I just took mine in there past my warranty and they just gave me a refurbished one and took mine. So did so and so and so and so." So I drive an hour out to Somerset, go to the Apple store(which being right next to the Puma store almost bankrupted me.) Gave them my iPod, but I had to make a Tech Appt. Annoying. So I drove an hour back home. My appt. is today, and today will either be the day I get my life back, or the day I go absolutely insane. I can't really function without my iPod. I am a proud music pirate and have so much music I want to listen to and I can't, unless I just carry my laptop around. I can't run without my iPod, workout without it, I'm starting to get annoyed with CDs and the radio in my car, it's killing me. Hopefully they fix it, free of charge. If not, looks like I'm getting a new iPod since their asking price is almost as much as a new one. Maybe I'll go big and get the new 32GB iPod touch, by shelling out a good $400. Apparently, "money ain't a thang."

Wish me luck.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Please, please, please happen!

2008-10-06T21:06:00.000-07:00

Former Titans general manager and current ESPN analyst Floyd Reese has his eye on the Lions GM job, recently vacated by Matt Millen. From ProFootballTalk.com:

“The ownership is there,” Reese said. “[Lions owner William Clay Ford] wants to win, wants to win badly. They’ve got a great stadium, they’ve got a great facility. The people there are great fans. They really are. I started my career in Detroit way, way back when. But right now they have to go through a total evaluation.”

So does Reese think he’s the person who should oversee that total evaluation, and take the reins of the franchise? When asked directly, he said he’d love the job.

“Are they giving me the job? If they are, I’ll be there. If not I’ll be here at ESPN."

OO-EH,
Kal El

YYYYYYYAAARRR.

2008-10-05T20:29:00.000-07:00

Get on your Facebook, go to Settings, click Account Settings, click Language and change it to English(Pirate). It is freaking amazing.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Why the Lions suck(ed), and why I hate the Steelers.

2008-10-05T09:12:00.001-07:00

To read and understand this, you have to believe in curses. This one is the curse of Bobby Layne, the curse that has plagued the Detroit Lions for 50 years.

Bobby Layne was the Lions Hall of Fame Caliber quarterback in the 50s and led them to 3 championships(yes, the Lions have won something before). Bobby Layne was a great player, not really a model citizen, sort of a mix between Chad Ocho Cinco and, well someone who gets in off field trouble. Although he was a great, great player, the Lions organization and fans grew tired of his off field antics. One game, he suffered a broken leg. He was then replaced by another quarterback while he was hurt, and the Lions won the championship again that year. The next season, the Lions were content with their current Layne replacement that led them to a championship, so, thinking he was through and wanting to get what they could for him, the Lions traded him to the Pittsburgh Steelers. The Steelers were a team, at that time, that had not won a single thing in their 25 year history. Apparently Layne felt spurned by the Lions. While he was leaving for the Steelers, his most famous quote was born, he said Detroit "would not win for 50 years." That was in 1958. It is now 2008, 50 years later. For the past 50 years, the Lions have been AWFUL, just terrible, embarrassing. They have been plagued with bad drafts, and were most inconsistent at Layne's position, quarterback. They could never find a solid QB to take the rains and win something. It was the curse of Layne. Layne went on to a successful career in Pittsburgh and for the past 50 years the Steelers have won many championships, something they did not do before Layne. Their latest championship, if you all remember, was in the Lions home, Detroit.

It's 2008, the curse has been lifted. No, the Lions aren't going to automatically be great, as we have seen this season so far. They are, in fact, taking the correct steps towards greatness, such as firing the cancer that was Matt Millen, and are finally beginning to build a powerful offense. Now the defense must learn to tackle.

For Lions fans all over, including myself, a ray of sunshine, a sign of hope, has been shined upon us and my faith in the Lions has been restored, thanks to the firing and the lifting of the curse. So Bobby Layne, screw you, the Lions are going to be good from now on, back to our old winning ways.

Another reason I hate the Steelers in I am a huge fan of their cross state rivals, the Philadelphia Eagles. Go Eagles, Go Lions. Fuck the Steelers, and Layne.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Superman to the NBA.

2008-10-02T09:56:00.000-07:00

Howard's new model of Adidas shoes feature a "Superman" logo on the back and the tongue of the shoe has "Superman" written across it. Howard won the NBA's Slam Dunk contest last February in New Orleans by dunking while wearing a blue "Superman" shirt and a red, flowing cape.

In the days following the Slam Dunk contest, Howard and his representative team met with Adidas bosses to formulate plans for a Superman-themed advertisement and shoe line.

I really am thinking about buying those shoes if they sell them in stores.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Not happy.

2008-09-30T09:46:00.000-07:00

First, I'll give you guys the less devastating news. McBest is gone, for good. I'm not very happy about that. I've immediately started to save money to go visit him.

Now, for the really devastating news. Without notifying other members, there have been two(that I know of) new members inducted into the Scurvy Squad. I know, right? Not cool.

On a better note, what exactly are we doing for the Artichoke Reunion on the 18th of October? Is my drunken karaoke idea totally out of the question? If it is, I think it needs to be taken under further consideration.

OO-EH,
Kal El

A coffee cup for Erk.

2008-09-29T08:58:00.001-07:00

OO-EH,
Kal El

Wow.

2008-09-28T10:36:00.000-07:00

This kid is amazing.

Yo-Yo to "Stronger"

OO-EH,
Kal El

One of the funniest videos...

2008-09-25T07:12:00.000-07:00

...that I have watched in a while. I saw this on the Kanye West blog when I woke up this morning and laughed my ass off. It's good to start your day with a good laugh, try it out sometime.

Diesel SFW XXX - Watch more free videos

OO-EH,
Kal El

There may be hope!

2008-09-22T15:43:00.000-07:00

"DETROIT -- Bill Ford Jr. has seen enough of the way team president Matt Millen is running his father's Detroit Lions.

NFC North blog

Bill Ford Jr.'s comments about Matt Millen have made for a very awkward situation for the Lions, Kevin Seifert writes.

The Ford Motor Co. executive chairman spoke to reporters Monday after a Detroit Economic Club meeting. The vice chairman of the Lions said he was disappointed in the team's performance and said fans deserve better.

When asked, Ford said Millen should leave the team, but he didn't have the authority to make such a significant change.

His father, William Clay Ford, is the owner and chairman of the franchise.

The Lions are 0-3 this season and an NFL-worst 31-84 since hiring Millen, who won Super Bowls as a linebacker and was an acclaimed TV analyst but had no front-office experience when he was hired in Detroit."

OO-EH,
Kal El

Smallville Season 8 review.

2008-09-17T17:35:00.001-07:00

It’s a problem that plagues almost every drama series on broadcast television that is not a procedural crime drama: How to keep the narrative’s ongoing mythology interesting as the show’s characters age through the seasons without jumping any sharks.

You don’t hear much about it, especially in the mainstream media, but Smallville, which on Thursday will begin its eighth season (its third on The CW, following five on The WB), has throughout its run emerged as a textbook study on how to roll with the realities of television production and remain vital while staying true to its core story. The first seven seasons of this series should be required viewing for every show-runner who is fortunate enough to face these challenges.

The Season 8 premiere makes clear that this isn’t the Smallville that captivated viewers and advertisers alike when it debuted in 2001. (I remember the excitement in the ballroom at New York City’s Sheraton Hotel in May of that year when The WB presented clips from the thrilling Smallville pilot to hundreds of advertisers and dozens of journalists.) The series, like its characters, is grown up now. When it began, it was about teenagers -- including Clark Kent (Tom Welling), the most famous super powered humanoid alien in the history of American popular culture – coping with the pressures high school, family and first romance, plus the lingering after effects of a devastating, long-ago meteor shower, the remnants of which continued to turn local citizens into Kryptonite-fueled madmen, if not genuine monsters. The Smallville canvas has expanded dramatically over the years to include interplanetary intrigue, cross-dimensional conflicts, the introduction of additional aliens (Supergirl, Brainiac, the Martian Manhunter) and other super-powered individuals (The Green Arrow, the Black Canary, Impulse, Aquaman, Cyborg), star-crossed romances (Clark Kent and Lana Lang, Lois Lane and Oliver Queen), a marriage made in hell (Lana Lang and Lex Luthor), three significant deaths (Whitney Fordman, Jonathan Kent, Lionel Luthor), and the departures of the two women Clark has loved most, his mother (for a political career in Washington, D.C.) and Lana (to begin a new life and allow Clark to fulfill his true destiny unencumbered by their relationship), as well as his best friend, Pete.

Smallville these days bears little resemblance to its younger self, yet it still feels remarkably fresh. Only two characters remain from its first season: Clark Kent, now finally pursuing a career in journalism at the Daily Planet and newly determined to move into adulthood (with ongoing guidance from his mentor, Oliver Queen), and his new best friend Chloe Sullivan, an intrepid young reporter who recently developed healing powers as a result of exposure to Kryptonite fragments from that long ago disaster. (She is now a “meteor freak,” as people who are dramatically altered by Kryptonite are known.) With Lana out of the picture (though she will briefly return in the months to come), Clark is free to pursue a new romance with his new colleague, Lois Lane, while Chloe finally declares her love for cub photographer Jimmy Olsen. And with Lex out of the way (mysteriously missing after the Fortress of Solitude collapsed on top of him at the end of Season 7), Clark has a new adversary in corporate cut-throat Tess Mercer, Lex’s designated successor as CEO of LuthorCorp.

Wisely, the season premiere includes appearances by three heroes from the still young Justice League: Green Arrow, Black Canary and Aquaman, all looking for Clark, who has also gone missing after the collapse of the Fortress. Martian Manhunter also returns at a critical time. Green Arrow (Justin Hartley) will remain on the canvas indefinitely, and the others will likely return. The growing awareness of other super-powered humans from well beyond the Smallville borders has been the most tantalizing subplot in the show’s ever-expanding mythology. For millions of comic book fans past and present it is as if the D.C. Comics universe is taking shape right before their eyes. The potential spin-offs and movie franchises are dazzling.

And yet, that isn’t what Smallville is about. It remains the story of Clark Kent, a young man who, upon reaching adolescence, began to realize that he was different from other kids. Young Clark’s adventures were stories of family, friendship, community, responsibility and tolerance. Clark has been somewhat slower to mature than most young men, despite prodding from Lana and Oliver, but he has experienced enough loss and seen enough change to realize that it is time to step up and be the person he was meant to be. That doesn’t simply mean taking on the challenges of manhood. It means respecting the responsibilities that come with great power and accepting the challenges that come with being Superman.

There. I said it. Superman. When Smallville premiered, its creators freely used the expression “no flights, no tights.” This series would be a reimagining of the Superman saga, not a simple retelling. Those producers and writers (and those who have since assumed control) have remained true to their original pledge. But Clark has flown quite a bit in recent seasons. It may be time for him to finally don that classic costume, especially if this proves to be the final season for this unexpectedly durable show.

TV on the Radio-Golden Age

2008-09-17T08:01:00.001-07:00

Ha, I love this video. Watch it, it's a trip.

OO-EH,
Kal El

They are losing fans.

2008-09-16T07:08:00.000-07:00

Some guy wrote this letter to the Lions head offices...sad.

"To Mr. Ford, Mr. Millen and Coach Marinelli:

After 20 years of passionately supporting the Detroit Lions I find myself in a painful predicament. My natural tendency is to remain loyal, but as a matter of principle I can no longer support the Detroit Lions organization in any way, shape, or form. As I write this, my jerseys, t-shirts, hats and other such things are all burning in a barrel. I once had dreams of watching games with my kids, forming family traditions of the Lions on Thanksgiving, etc....those dreams are gone now. I refuse to pull my children into the heart-breaking dysfunction of this franchise.

It's not that the team isn't very good, it's that for decades this team has been mismanaged by incompetent people. As the owner and the GM, you two are the ones who are responsible for this. Mr. Millen, while I respect your desire to keep working at it until you get it right, I have to tell you that it now looks like smug arrogance and selfishness. Every man has to know his limitations, what he is good at and what he isn't good at. Competent men are able to admit their shortcomings and graciously concede defeat. Insecure men don't do the right thing because they are either afraid of what people think or they don't have a grip on reality and they think that they can still get the job done. You can't. You have already failed more than any other GM in NFL history. I am leaving the Lions because of you. Mr. Ford, I don't have ANY respect for you or anything you run. You are the most incompetent owner in sports, and your automobile company isn't far behind. I refuse to purchase any of your products from here on out and if it is in my power I will influence my friends, family and acquaintances to [do] the same. Coach Marinelli, I was in your corner and on the bandwagon for every single day up until today when I watched this team perform as incompetently as any I have ever seen (particularly in terms of inability to tackle). I still respect what you are trying to do and I feel bad that you came into such a screwed up situation. With such high draft picks available and in the day of free agency there is no franchise that has suffered as badly as the Lions have in terms of developing a competitive team. I can't watch the games any more because I feel so sad and so sick to my stomach that I have literally thrown up. I'm tired of this.

It must be nice to live in such a fantasy land where there is no such thing as true accountability, no requirement of productivity. If anyone at my company performed the way this organization has, they would be fired. If my company kept such poor performers it would go bankrupt. That is why I say that this is a matter of principle--you take the money of loyal fans, but NEVER deliver a product. If I thought I had a chance, I would take this organization to court and sue you for fraud. The love and positive feelings I once felt for the Lions has now been turned to hatred and sour bitterness. As far as I am concerned this organization is nothing more than a scam owned by a senile old man and run by an incapable GM that doesn't have the decency to step down. And I'm not the only one. Oh, I know that you think that the disgruntled fans will be happy if we win...but one day you will wake up and discover that there is a deep undercurrent that is brewing in the fanbase and you will reap what you deserve. At this point the only chance the Lions have of keeping me as a fan is if Mr. Ford sells the team and fires Mr. Millen. I am willing to give Coach Marinelli time because as I said before, he came into one of the worst scenarios possible. Do this and this franchise will stand a chance. Keep doing the same things the same way and I wouldn't be surprised if disgruntled fans turn to more aggressive means of forcing your hand because desperate times call for desperate measures.

To the person who will probably get this email and decide not to pass it on to those who it is addressed to--you are part of the problem. Why don't you try growing a pair and actually send it to the people it is supposed to go to? Obviously you shouldn't fear losing your job since no one else does.

Sincerely,
[A] former fan in South Dakota"

OO-EH,
Kal El

Is it Monday yet?

2008-09-15T08:42:00.000-07:00

YES! Monday Night Football! There is nothing I love more during football seasons than Mondays, especially ones like today when I have an unexpected day off AND my favorite team(next to the Lions, of course) THE Philadelphia Eagles plays possibly their biggest division rivals and former cancer of their team, The Dallas Cowboys and Terrell Owens. Last year, with Lito Sheppard and Sheldon Brown, two pro-bowl corner backs, Lito Sheppard blanketed T.O. for no touchdowns and they forced Romo into 3 INTs. This year, they still have Sheppard and Brown and added another pro-bowl corner in Asante Samuel. Yes, the Cowboys have a high powered offense, but can they stop Brian Westbrook and a rejuvenated Donovan McNabb? Let's hope not. GO EAGLES!!

OO-EH,
Kal El

This looks pretty good.

2008-09-12T22:28:00.000-07:00

It's called "The Soloist." It is starring Jamie Foxx and Robert Downey Jr.

The Soloist from videos11 on Vimeo.

It looks like it will be pretty good.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Gas. You might want to read.

2008-09-12T17:41:00.000-07:00

I was just told from a friend that he has heard a nasty but very possibly true rumor about gas. Gas has hit the price of $6 even in lansing and $4.09 in Flint soon to be the same as Lansing. I honestly have no more of a reason to believe this than to not, so don't take my word for it. But I think it might be a good idea to go fill up ASAP just in case, it'd be worth it. Hopefully if it is true, everyone reads this in time.

If it's true, no need to thank me. As I always say, "I do, what I can do, when I can do it."

OO-EH,
Kal El

Day of new.

2008-09-09T17:23:00.000-07:00

Day of a lot of new things.

Got home from work and went for a run and just relaxed in front of the T.V. and I realized a few things. I caught an encore of the VMAs, didn't watch a whole lot of it because I don't really care, but that comedian, Russell Brand, is pretty funny. It surprised me because well, from my experience there is no such thing as a funny Brit.

Also, I think I am in love with Katy Perry. Her music is alright, but there is something about her that I see as beautiful. She is only about a year older than me, so anything is possible. I can dream.

NEW BEER! I discovered a new beer that I like, possibly love. Heileman's Special Export. I believe it come from the Chi, check it out. It's the bee's knees.

OO-EH,
Kal El

I don't say this much...

2008-09-08T11:03:00.000-07:00

...but, I'm impressed.

Off road unicycling....ever heard of it?

OO-EH,
Kal El

Saving Superman- Part 1

2008-09-08T08:24:00.000-07:00

Saving Superman - Part 1

By Kevin Aheam (aka TMW Man)
[Date: September 8, 2008]

In August, Warners announced that it was going to 'reintroduce Superman', and begin the franchise all over again as if SUPERMAN RETURNS (2006) never happened.

As the studio had already disavowed SUPERMAN III (1983) and SUPERMAN IV (1987), it's been thirty years, before the vast majority of Man of Steel's target audience was even born since a SUPERMAN film (II 1980) worth paying to see has played on the silver screen.

What went wrong? Will Warners learn anything from the disappointments of the past and finally get SUPERMAN right?

Of course, the Internet has been deluged with comments, suggesting writers, actors, directors, costume changes, villains, budget, marketing...Whoa! This is 'cart' thinking? The 'horse' is Superman.

"Leaping over skyscrapers, running faster than an express train, springing great distances and heights, lifting and smashing tremendous weights, possessing an impenetrable skin - these are the amazing attributes which Superman, savior of the helpless and the oppressed, avails himself of as he battles the forces of evil and injustice..."
SUPERMAN, Action Comics, August 1939

Oh, you mean that 'Comic Book Character?'

The super-misconception: Superman came from a comic book as he did from Krypton. The 'Adam' of costumed superheroes, his appearance in 1938 begat an entire industry from which he has long since transcended.

Half a century ago, seven different comics a month starring the Man of Steel sold 25,000,000+ copies a year, but in the new millennium, to a market three times larger, comic book sales are going the way of Superman's home planet.

Not a "quality" or "economic" issue - expanding TV, movies, and video games and DVDs have sorely diminished the power and impact of comic books as an entertainment medium.

This guts the accepted logic that comic book writers would best be able to reboot Superman - they can barely save themselves. The beancounters are quick to boast that the 'Death of Superman' (1992) arc sold millions of copies and became the bestselling graphic novel of all time, therefore, that has to be the way to re-boot the character.

Wrong. According to Warners, SUPERMAN RETURNS made the brand "toxic". No matter how well made, 'The Death of Superman' would be akin to beating a dead horse.

Leaving the 'comic book mindset' back in the 20th Century - Superman is the greatest hero in all of literature. Get over it, literary lights and SF&F fanboys. No Star Fleet Captain or Jedi Knight or boy wizard or elf is even close. Every hero everywhere, real or imagined, one way or another, is compared to Superman.

Said Aunt May to Peter Parker in SPIDER-MAN: "You're not Superman, you know."

Tell us about it, lady!

Yet SPIDER-MAN 3, a cut-and-paste embarrassment of a movie, beat SUPERMAN RETURNS at the box office by more than $150,000,000!

What has gone wrong with Superman?

Unlike Bat-Man's vengeance crusade, Spider-Man's guilt trip and Tony Stark's and Hancock's struggles to redeem themselves, Superman is about being the hero. Those who would apologize for, or worse, compromise the Man of Steel's mantle as the greatest hero ever created, should re-boot somebody less.

But, and here's where the process could go fatally awry, "It's always best to start at the beginning," said the Good Witch of OZ and how right she is.

Oh, no! Not another 'origin' story! Hardly. The first 20 seconds of the next film could do that. And another 10 seconds for the Clark Kent 'secret identity' angle.

And then?

Show some confidence in and knowledge of the character as created by Siegel and Shuster 70 years ago. The hero's tale is a quest. "Truth, Justice and The American Way" is only half of it. The other half is Lois Lane.

Oh, no! Not another 'closet' Lois Lane fan? Make that a Jerry and Joe fan.

Back to the beginning...

As observed by Jules Feiffer in 'The Great Comic Book Heroes' (Dial Press 1965), what separated Superman from the other 'fakes' is that (paraphrasing) "When Superman wakes up, he is Superman. Clark Kent is the put on."... "Superman's opinion of the rest of us - his fake identity is our real one."

Feiffer then brilliantly states: ..."Among Lois Lane, Clark Kent and Superman there existed a schizoid and chaste ménage a' trois."

Bottom line: resolve or consummate the Lois Lane quest and the hero's story has nowhere to go but down.

Substituting Doomsday for Richard Pryor would not have made SUPERMAN III much better. Instead of a lifeless, unengaging Nuclear Man in SUPERMAN IV, a rampaging Kirby-esque creation and all 'The King's" men would not have saved the film.

What if... the Man of Steel comes back after being away for five years to discover he's the father of Lois's 'love child'?

How did that work out?

As we know Superman's story, the "question word" in the re-boot is not Who? or Why? or How?, but WHEN?

Don't misunderstand me. A 'period piece' would be unthinkable. The 'new' Superman must be young and fresh already a part of the 21st Century. The question: When in the Superman story does the re-boot begin?

But...

Superman, unlike the rest of the crowd who came after him, because of him, is a timeless icon. To reintroduce a 'new' Superman, it is mandatory to pay tribute to an 'old' Superman. (To do BATMAN BEGINS and DARK KNIGHT, Nolan did not go off on an ego trip to spin his own Caped Crusader. Instead he dug into the very blood of Bob Kane's character and let all hell spring loose!)

For the Donner-led I-IV series, Noel Neill, the original Lois Lane from the Paramount serial, got a cameo. But SUPERMAN RETURNS didn't go to the well once too often; the movie jumped in.

Opening with that big, beautiful S logo from the Donner film from 30 years ago and Williams' incredible score from the old series, on came the ghost of Marlon Brando looking like Kal-El's grandfather with a touch of Odin...cut to Noel Neill dying in the opening scene.

As a result, SUPERMAN RETURNS was DOA before we ever saw Brandon Routh.

Let that serve as a warning to Warners: their Superman re-boot will fly or die with the opening credits. Come on 'dark' and 'gritty' and the film is going to be over before it begins.

"We must hold on to our loyal fanbase," declares Warners.

Cut to George C. Scott's opening speech in PATTON: "We're not 'holding' anything. We are attacking!"

The mission of the SUPERMAN re-boot must be to expand the DCU fanbase and leave Marvel in its wake.

Hollywood is a 'Big Idea' Culture. Mark Millar, a comic book writer and long-time Superman fan, has had a "plan for like 10 years for a big three-picture Superman thing, like a big 'Lord of the Rings' epic, starting over from scratch again with a seven-hour Superman story. And hopefully release them one year after another. If it works out, we'll have to start shooting next summer."

Not so fast. While Millar might have a thrilling, three-part Superman 'epic' on paper, but equating a "seven-hour Superman story, starting from scratch" with 'Lord of the Rings' is apples and oranges logic. 90% of those who saw 'Rings' did not know the story going in. As 90% of the market already knows the Superman story, how many will pay to see not one, but three movies?

The 'Big Idea' for Superman must be about energy and spirit and the right when in his story.

Two words: Max Fleischer! - Lois in her "damsel in distress' period before she becomes a love interest. A 'homage' to the 1940s cartoons with a live-action $250M action-packed spectacular in super-scale featuring the most evil villains in the DCU that'll blow away the world!

Imagine it's the summer of 2010. With a large soda in one hand and a tub of popcorn in the other, you grab your seat just as the main feature begins...

(Voice-over)
"In the endless reaches of the universe there once existed a planet known as Krypton. Their civilization was far advanced and it brought forth a race of supermen, whose mental and physical powers were developed to the absolute peak of human perfection.

"But, there came a day when giant quakes threatened to destroy Krypton forever. One of the planet's leading scientists, sensing the approach of doom, placed his infant son in a small rocketship and sent it hurtling in the direction of the Earth just as Krypton exploded!

(A ten-second CGI cataclysmic event!)

"The rocketship sped through star studded space, landing safely on Earth with its precious burden, Krypton's sole survivor. Found by Jonathan and Martha Kent and raised in Smallville, as the years went by and the child grew to maturity, he found himself possessed of amazing physical powers.

(Cue Sammy Timberg's trumpeting score!)

"Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to leap tall buildings in a single bound...

"The infant of Krypton is now the Man of Steel...

SUPERMAN

"...Disguised as Clark Kent, a mild-mannered reporter for a great, metropolitan newspaper, he fights a never-ending battle for Truth, Justice and The American Way."

Roll the 97-minute, stand-alone film.

(Please keep the spoilers to yourself.)

What do you think, Kessel? Matt?

OO-EH,
Kal El

New Kanye Song.

2008-09-08T08:08:00.000-07:00

I like it.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Bringing Star Wars to life.

2008-09-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

This Star Wars Landspeeder is a full-sized, drivable, Jedi-approved replica built by former LucasFilm employee Daniel Deutsch, who designed his version from the ground up. Neatorama dug up this 1:1 scale speeder, which has a custom aluminum chassis, fiberglass body, and an electric drive system that hits lightspeed at 25 mph.

OO-EH,
Kal El

A week in review.

2008-09-04T20:36:00.000-07:00

This was a pretty eventful week for me.

A few small key things. The Lions signed the running back I wanted them too shining a little more hope on the season. I went to another Tigers game this week, they won, and it was the first Tigers game I have been to that they have won. Also decided I may want to move into Downtown Detroit in the near future, it's not as bad as it is cracked out to be if you're in the actual downtown.

I'll start off with more current events, save the big one for last.

I was quite the good samaritan the other day before going to the Tigers game. I was driving in my neighborhood when it was about to storm pretty bad. I saw someone, around my age, running down the street. I didn't know them personally, actually never met them I know they lived in my neighborhood because I have seen them many times before. I stopped, promised I wasn't a creeper, and offered him a ride to his house so he didn't have to run in the rain. I figured if he hates running home in the pouring rain as much as I do, he would want a ride.

Later that day, we went to the Tigers game, and on the way from the parking lot to the stadium we past plenty of homeless gentlemen asking for change, I gave them what they had in my pocket(as far as change), it felt good to help people in need.

Just on the next block there was someone selling tickets. He wasn't a regular scalper, he was selling tickets to support disabled veterans, so again, I gave what I could, but insisted he keep the ticket, since I already had one and was happy with my seat. He insisted back that I take it anyway, so I did. I had them check it at the gate and the ticket was legit, so hopefully my mom actually did go towards something good.

So much for my good deeds, sorry if I seemed like I was bragging, just needed something to talk about on here other than music videos and Superman.

This Saturday my friend called me to go out on the lake. Lake Penoma I think it was, in Fenton. We went out on the sand bar and were having a good ole drunken time and I squinted my eyes to look about 5 boats down and saw someone who looked just like Kid Rock. I shouted "Hey, he looks just like Kid Rock." Someone turned to me and said "Yea, that is him." It really was Kid Rock, just hanging out at the sand bar on a shitty pontoon boat just drinking beer with locals. Once he was noticed, naturally he was swamped with people asking for pictures, which he gladly invited people on the boat to take them, he is a real cool guy. I didn't want to be one of those annoying fans that get all gitty and giggly around celebrities so I just went up to him and said "I don't want a picture or an autograph, I just want to shake your hand." He said "Gladly man, especially since you have a great T-Shirt on." I had a Johnny Cash T-Shirt on. At the time I had a fifth of Jager in my hand, which I reached my arm out towards him to offer him some, and he started taking shots of Jager with me. You guys may not like Kid Rock or think that is cool, but I think Kid Rock is great and really think highly of him for being such a cool down to earth guy. If you ever see him, I'm sure he won't mind if you said hi, apparently he goes out on local lakes a lot and hangs out with people like that. Keep an eye out.

Football season finally kicked off and I couldn't be happier. That's it.

OO-EH,
Kal El

I love this commercial.

2008-09-03T13:21:00.000-07:00

Quite possibly the corniest(that must be a real word, I didn't get t he red squiggly line) acting performances on a t.v. commercial. Every time I see this commercial, especially the guy at the very end, it makes me laugh.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Mark Millar's plan for Superman Trilogy.

2008-09-03T13:10:00.000-07:00

"I've had this plan for like 10 years for a big three-picture Superman thing, like a Lord of the Rings epic, starting over from scratch again with a seven-hour Superman story. One to be released each year."

That is a quote from Mark Millar, the write of one of the greatest Superman stories ever told. My fingers are crossed.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Here you go Matt and Steve.

2008-09-01T09:53:00.000-07:00

This is what a pre-Doomsday Superman Movie needs. With more realistic looking villians maybe, and maybe no Parasite.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Can't help but laugh...

2008-08-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

...every single time I see this clip. This is the first movie scene that has ever brought me to tears laughing in the theater. WIll Ferrell has the voice of an Angel.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Offensive?

2008-08-14T14:22:00.000-07:00

In case you can't tell or haven't heard anything about it, this is a team photo of the Spanish Olympic Basketball Team posing while pulling their eyes back to imitate the Chinese.

I'm pretty sure the Women's team did this too.

Do you think this is inappropriate? Offensive? Both?

OO-EH,
Kal El

Champion.

2008-08-12T00:01:00.000-07:00

This is why Kanye West is the man, videos like this.

Kanye West-"Champion"

KANYE WEST official "CHAMPION" video.. Directed by NEON from nabil elderkin on Vimeo.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Hello, I'm Johnny Cash.

2008-08-11T16:16:00.000-07:00

Well this weekend I went up north with my friend, Josh, to St. Helen. We went and met his parents and their two friends at their cabin. We got there at 11 and were immediately handed beers, were told to get our bathing suits on, packed a cooler full of Bud Lights and jumped on the boat and spend a few hours on the lake. Although it was 65-70 degrees and cloudy, it was still one of the best times I've ever had on a lake. I was presently surprised when we got there, thinking it was going to be lame being with his parents and their friends, but it turned out they are more immature and perverted than most people my age, meaning they are hilarious. With the combination of a giant lake with few people on it, lots of beer and 6 intoxicated "adults" passing the time by getting excited for the sun to come in between clouds to warm us up, I some how was roped into explaining the his parents what a "blumpkin" is, not my proudest moment, but it was hilarious and I have no regrets. To sum up the next couple hours: we ran out of beer, went out to eat, took naps, woke up and went to the bar...a karaoke bar. Once they all found out I have never done karaoke before, it pretty much guaranteed myself to be forced into it, they at least let me pick the song. I picked my song, wrote it on the slip and strategically placed it in my pocket so that I could hold it as long as possible. I went towards the end of the night when I, along with everyone else in the bar, were pretty drunk, almost wasted. I sang "Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash. When I went up there everyone at my table yelled out "HE'S A VIRGIN! A KARAOKE VIRGIN." and it drove the locals fucking crazy which only made me even more nervous, luckily I was drunk. The music hit an it seemed like I had been doing this for years, it pays off singing to yourself in the car, trust me. Within 10 words of the song I looked and everyone was on the dance floor going crazy, and something in me clicked and it was like I was performing a concert. I was complimented after my performance with people saying "You were amazing, you sounded so much like him." I had adrenaline pumping through me so naturally I ordered a round of beers and shots. Great time.

There was this guy there that was identical, and I mean IDENTICAL, to Eminem. It was ridiculous. He went up onto the stage and we all joked that Eminem was about to perform. It must have not been the first time someone said he looked like him, because "The Real Slim Shady" came over the speakers and he started rapping, it was quite hilarious.

I was able to talk some elderly lady, and I mean old...60s maybe, into letting me grind on her, which was one of many highlights of my night.

I'd definitely go and do it all again, karaoke was fucking awesome and we should definitely have an Artichoke Karaoke night at some random bar...maybe all go up north and rent a cabin and just get drunk and have a good ol' time in Northern Michigan.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Europe or the NBA?

2008-08-08T08:41:00.000-07:00

It seems to me that Europe is trying to make their brand of basketball more popular by shelling out ridiculous amounts of money for disgruntled NBA free agents that can't get that kind of money out of their respective teams. For example, former rookie prospect and solid Small Forward for the Atlanta Hawks, Josh Childress, became a restricted free agent this offseason. It was reported of him working out for many NBA teams(most of which I would say desperately need him), but not teams, not even his current team, offered him a contract. Well, the NBA snoozed, and eventually lost when the Greek Olympiacos offered him a 3 year $30 million deal to play with them overseas and he accepted. A list of other NBA players who were lured overseas this offseason after being unsatisfied with offers(or lack there of) from NBA teams: Earl Boykins(who is now Italy's highest paid player but wouldn't even have cracked the top 20 over here), Carlos Arroyo, Nenad Krstic, Juan Carlos Navarro, Carlos Delfino, Bostjan Nachbar, and Primo Brezec. Yes, a few of those players came from overseas at some point in their college/NBA career, but does all of these players jumping ship and going back to Europe mean the NBA is losing it's international appeal? And is this good for the sport of basketball? or bad? Lebron James becomes a restricted free agent in 2010. European teams are already salivating over him, as well as other NBA teams. James has been quoted saying he would consider a deal with a European team if he was offered a $50 million a year contract. That's a lot of fucking money and way more than he is making on his NBA contract alone. With all of his endorsement deals, I'm sure he is making close to that amount or more. I can't decide whether or not he threw out that outrageous figure to make it impossible for a European team(even though they have the money) to want to sign him for that much, or if he was serious and he thinks that is a way to better reach his goal that he stated at the beginning of his career to become the richest man in the world.

To have the world's current leading basketball icon leave the States to play overseas, bad for the NBA, but would that be good for the sport of basketball? Would it make it more popular with other countries having a superstar like him on a European team? Although it would upset me to see NBA stars go overseas and make the NBA boring, I think it would be good for basketball worldwide. I also wouldn't mind it if they played international games on American T.V. other times besides the Olympics only. What do you think?

OO-EH,
Kal El

Coolest Music Video of All Time.

2008-08-07T14:46:00.000-07:00

Music video for the "Everyone Nose Remix."

OO-EH
Kal El

Last year's camp movie looked better...

2008-08-06T10:11:00.000-07:00

...even though McBest stars in this one, I still have to give it to Joe.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Enough with the "Movie" movies!

2008-08-05T12:34:00.000-07:00

I'm sure people who read this have heard me say this before, but they really need to stop making spoof comedies. Yes, Scary Movie 1 & 2 were hilarious. Those movies were hilarious for 1 main reason, and that reason was the Wayans Bros. The Wayans Bros. were a huge creative part of those movies, but once they left to make other hilarious movies such as "White Chicks" and "Little Man." The less funny people decided to keep that ball rolling and make "Scary Movie 3 & 4" and 3 was ok, but 4 was terrible. Date Movie: Sucked, Epic Movie:Sucked, Superhero Movie: Sucked and now they are making "Disaster Movie" which looks like it will take the cake on suckiness. I really hope no one goes to see this movie, I really don't.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Will you go see this movie?

2008-08-02T07:19:00.000-07:00

OO-EH,
Kal El.

Guiness ad...Brilliant!(Updated for you, Dark AJ)

2008-07-28T10:43:00.001-07:00

OO-EH,
Kal El

Step Brothers.

2008-07-22T18:41:00.000-07:00

My friend got free tickets to an early screening of "Step Brothers" and it was fucking hilarious. I highly recommend everyone goes to see it.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Amazing.

2008-07-15T14:19:00.001-07:00

If Hip-Hop was all like this, everyone should be a fan. The video and song are both amazing.

OO-EH,
Kal El

Fights with Tools

2008-07-12T14:57:00.001-07:00

OO-EH,
Kal El

Dear Abby.

2008-07-10T18:22:00.000-07:00

I was at work today on a little break waiting for an employee of mine to come back from running an errand and started to read the newspaper. I came across a headline that caught my eye in the "Dear Abby" column. The headline was "Struggling single 'father' discovers he's clueless." Admittedly I thought it was a funny headline so I read it, turns out it was more inspirational than funny. I would classify the man in this article as selfless, a great person, and maybe even somewhat of a hero. Here is the entry...

DEAR ABBY: I am a single parent, although I never intended to be. Last fall, I was asked to baby-sit a 14-year old boy. He has been in my custody ever since. His mother abandoned him. Only in the last month have I actually gotten legal custody of him from Social Services. The problems he had prior to being with me have caused me legal expenses I never could have imagined. (They are all paid now.) I sold my truck and moved out of my original apartment, so I don't have much. We have no furniture other than the beds we sleep on and a dining room table we received as a gift. I have no idea where to go for help. I have no idea what I am doing as a parent. But I made a promise to that boy, and I fully intend to make sure that I carry it through. What do I need to know?-NEW FATHER IN NORTH CAROLINA

DEAR NEW FATHER: Congratulations on becoming a father. You have already mastered the most important lesson on becoming a parent--and that's being there for your child. The library is filled with books on parenting, and I'm sure you will find some answers there. But you are already a stable influence, and that's what the boy needs. You should also know that there is money available to take care of your boy, and the Department of Social Services should be able to help you get it.

If only every person who has their own child could be as responsible and caring as this man who just had a teenager dropped onto his lap with lots of baggage. This man is a hero in my eyes.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El

I know I posted this already but...

2008-07-08T15:27:00.001-07:00

...it wasn't the official music video and I now have the official music video and I think this is a great song so here is the video.

Nas-"Hero"

Oh-Eh,
Kal El