Hello, I'm Johnny Cash.

Well this weekend I went up north with my friend, Josh, to St. Helen. We went and met his parents and their two friends at their cabin. We got there at 11 and were immediately handed beers, were told to get our bathing suits on, packed a cooler full of Bud Lights and jumped on the boat and spend a few hours on the lake. Although it was 65-70 degrees and cloudy, it was still one of the best times I've ever had on a lake. I was presently surprised when we got there, thinking it was going to be lame being with his parents and their friends, but it turned out they are more immature and perverted than most people my age, meaning they are hilarious. With the combination of a giant lake with few people on it, lots of beer and 6 intoxicated "adults" passing the time by getting excited for the sun to come in between clouds to warm us up, I some how was roped into explaining the his parents what a "blumpkin" is, not my proudest moment, but it was hilarious and I have no regrets. To sum up the next couple hours: we ran out of beer, went out to eat, took naps, woke up and went to the bar...a karaoke bar. Once they all found out I have never done karaoke before, it pretty much guaranteed myself to be forced into it, they at least let me pick the song. I picked my song, wrote it on the slip and strategically placed it in my pocket so that I could hold it as long as possible. I went towards the end of the night when I, along with everyone else in the bar, were pretty drunk, almost wasted. I sang "Folsom Prison Blues" by Johnny Cash. When I went up there everyone at my table yelled out "HE'S A VIRGIN! A KARAOKE VIRGIN." and it drove the locals fucking crazy which only made me even more nervous, luckily I was drunk. The music hit an it seemed like I had been doing this for years, it pays off singing to yourself in the car, trust me. Within 10 words of the song I looked and everyone was on the dance floor going crazy, and something in me clicked and it was like I was performing a concert. I was complimented after my performance with people saying "You were amazing, you sounded so much like him." I had adrenaline pumping through me so naturally I ordered a round of beers and shots. Great time.

There was this guy there that was identical, and I mean IDENTICAL, to Eminem. It was ridiculous. He went up onto the stage and we all joked that Eminem was about to perform. It must have not been the first time someone said he looked like him, because "The Real Slim Shady" came over the speakers and he started rapping, it was quite hilarious.

I was able to talk some elderly lady, and I mean old...60s maybe, into letting me grind on her, which was one of many highlights of my night.

I'd definitely go and do it all again, karaoke was fucking awesome and we should definitely have an Artichoke Karaoke night at some random bar...maybe all go up north and rent a cabin and just get drunk and have a good ol' time in Northern Michigan.

OO-EH,
Kal El