Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Just watch...or not, either way Part Tre.

I had this discussion with Kip Delp and KMFP last night on the way to the Head Artichoke's house. This past week I spent every waking moment with my family, we would talk about old times, and when we got to my my grandparent's house, my dad and aunts started joking around about how bad they had it when they were kids. They had some pretty hilarious stories, they did a lot of stupid stuff and it ended with everyone understanding why they are the way they are now. Those stories got me to thinking about myself. While I was thinking I remembered something from my childhood that could maybe explain why some people would say I have a vulgar sense of humor, or why I listen to (Hed) P.E. Because I learned children's stories, such as the 3 little pigs, like this. Before this song I didn't know what the 3 little pigs were yet. So please take a listen, watch the video, tell me what you think.

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Wrap It Up! (From Florida)

FFFFIIIINNNAAALLLLYYY the Florida part of my trip is done. I have to admit this last day was a good one. There wasn't a cloud in the sky on an 84 degree day, I sat by the pool, ate Taco Bell, drank beer, laid on a raft in the pool and played with my nephews. After all that it was dinner time. My aunt and mommy made Turkey dinner for christmas. We had christmas early since everyone is going to be in Florida, we are celebrating it again on actual Christmas day. I stuffed my face with turkey and mashed potatoes. I think when this trip is done I definitely need to hit the gym. Which is why next semester I am getting a membership at the fitness center at our school. Then I can show Kip Delp how to actually work out like a man, ha. We opened lots of presence, well my niece, nephews, sisters and brother-in-law did. I opened 3, two Polo shirts from my sisters and a card with money from my aunt and uncle. Tomorrow we are leaving for the airport at 9 and our plane leaves at 1130. I'm hoping to either fall asleep the whole way again, or at least finish my book I started when I got here. Hopefully Sunday goes by fast, Monday will because we are going to my grandma and grandpap's on my dad's side of the family to meet up with the Resh family which is always interesting because they always get into a fight with each other about Michigan and Ohio State because my dad hates Ohio State and he is the only one, or my dad, grandpap and cousin all get into a fight about Union workers since my dad is one but they all think the union is bullshit. Then we open presents and the older I get, the more it turns into just being cards with money, which I prefer these days over clothes I won't ever wear. The next day is christmas and we will open all the rest of the presents left for us and watch football and eat christmas dinner. Then once we digest it is back to the Mitten for us. Once I get home I am going to Meijer and purchasing a 30 rack of Red Dog beer and meeting up with the Scurvy Squad and getting hammered. Recovering the next morning, then hopefully getting hammered again, recovering Thursday, later going to B-Dubs for the Day Camp Christmas Reunion, then off to CHURCH to get drunk on $1 pitchers of PBR and 75 cent rum and cokes, puff one some blacks and dance like McBest on the dance floor. It is fixin' to be a great couple of days. Hopefully everyone is going to Church since it is JoJo's reunion, and Kevin's(if he goes) last trip to Church since he is leaving on the 2nd of January. MLA and KMFP, if you guys read this, I expect you guys to be there since it is such a special occasion. The Scurvy Squad will be reunited at Church and the last time that happened, we did not disappoint. So anyone who reads this, you are invited. Come with us, get drunk on cheap beer, make asses of yourself, have fun with camp friends, let loose and just throw all your cares away. That is what Church is all about. If I don't update this before Tuesday, Merry Christmas to all! To those who don't celebrate it, have a Fair Dinkum holiday season.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El

"Mm, Florida. Just think somewhere in this state right now Jeb Bush is eating a live puppy."-Stewart Gilligan Griffin

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Finally a night to myself.

Finally I get a night alone in the house. My parents went to the casino with my aunt and uncle, my sisters and the children went home to West Palm Beach for the night. Both groups gave me the option to come with them, my mom even offered me 50 dollars to gamble with, surprisingly I turned it down because this has been the most frustrating "vacation" I have ever been on. To me a vacation is a time to relax and do whatever you want when you want. To my family it is a chance to make plans without asking others first and get mad when no one wants to do it, have to eat my aunts terrible cooking then just bitch about it later when she isn't around (I agree, the cooking sucks and I wouldn't say it to her face either because she loves cooking). Vacations to Florida to my sisters is a chance to pawn their kids off to me and my parents and claim it is because we never get to see them. My parents and I share the time with them equally, when my parents get sick of them they are pawned off onto me, when I get sick of them and try to pawn them off on someone else, I'm being a "bad uncle." It's really frustrating. Today I woke up and it was pouring down rain and I thought to myself, great a day stuck in the house, I will have no where to hide. Thankfully it is Florida so the next minute the sun comes out. I sneak out of the house with my iPod and go for a walk, a long walk around the neighborhood, look at the houses, since my aunt lives on the water, I walk along the canal and just take that time to unwind and think. On top of that, my sisters continue to try to get me to move down here with them. My sister talked to some guy that offered to train me and give me a job with his company. I'm not sure the exact amount but I know it pays well. I once again declined them. I know it sounds like a dream to some people to live in Florida and always be warm. But I love Michigan. I love the variety. To me, places like Florida is somewhere you go for a vacation, I can't really see me calling a place like this home. I can see myself living in a big city, or in a place like I live now. I wouldn't be able to accept anything that is the same everyday. Like if I lived up north in the country, it would be the same old boring thing everyday because nothing would be around. If I lived in Florida, I would have no snow, no real winter time. I love snow, I love changing seasons and actually being able to notice they've changed. Amongst all of this frustration, boredom, and time to think, I have had time to think about my new years resolution. I have decided I'm going to have a few. First, I'm going to start working out again and working on my appearance. Second I'm going to start concentrating on school and working more. I mean I haven't been really slacking in school, but I certainly haven't been honor roll material. I'm also going to start being more open towards people and stop being so shy. Small steps to improve my life I guess you could say, lets see how long it lasts this year, ha.

Well I can't wait to get back to Michigan and hang out with all of my friends again. I come home Christmas night and have already made plans to get hammered somewhere with McBest and Dump that night. So if anyone else has anything going on that night and would like the 3 of us to join (who wouldn't?) then just let me know. Merry Christmas to everyone.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El

Monday, December 17, 2007

Oh-Eh




This is about as good as you can get for a still image. I told you I would teach the little ones Oh-Eh, this one is so talented he can do it on my shoulders! The other one was sleeping. So for now, all you get is little Ryan Reyes doing Oh-Eh with his Tio.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El

Friday, December 14, 2007

Free drinks...who am I to argue?

So tonight I decide to come home a day early to go to Church with McBest, Daddy, Carl, and his friend Jason from Australia. When we get there Daddy knows some girl so we sit with them. This guy is a douche bag, the kind that is entertaining to watch. He is a "ghetto" white kid with rich parents who sings and "dances" to every rap song that comes on. This should be a "what grinds my gears" session, but I just don't have the energy. Anyway, this douche gets kicked out(thankfully), so I don't have to see him butcher every dance and listen to him butcher every song anymore. So...we leave church around 1 am, head to the cantina to see Dean and Gilmore. We get there and McBest and I dominate for baskets of chips and salsa in about 10 minutes. Order some drinks, watch some trashy girls dance to Souljah Boy, and have a merry time drinking our beers. It's about closing time and the waitress comes to tell us she messed up. I'm thinking "Oh no" but really should be thinking "Oh yea!" because she put out drinks on the tab of some gentlemen at the bar that we don't know, and didn't notice the extra drinks on his tab and just paid and left, so we drank for free, yippee. We then go to McDonald's for some cheeseburgers. McBest buys me a burger because I bought him a pitcher at Church. I order a milkshake because it sounds amazing. The only thing more amazing to me than a milk shake is Dr. Pepper. The manager comes to me and says "I'm sorry sir we forgot out milkshake machine is down, so we will give you your money back(I'm bummed at this point), but we will give you a free large drink(Yay! Happy again.) So tonight I got lots of free drinks, some alcoholic, some non, either way I'm happy. Well that is my night, hope everyone else's was just as great. Goodnight.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El


"I'm a fair dinkum bloke!"-Jesse McBest

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Sunday, December 9, 2007

Let me stand next to your fire.

Well, I have to say, quite a few interesting things happened this week/weekend, some I can't even say in the blog world for other peoples sake, ha. For starters Thursday I went to Flint to go to Church but first made a stop by KMFP's house to eat my pizza and watch Superbad. So I get there and watch it with her, eat my entire pizza minus the one piece she had. Once my pizza is done, her mother, LMFP, has made stir fry for dinner. She offers me a bowl and I politely decline because I just ate a large pizza. Somehow I'm convinced the pizza wasn't enough, So KMFP fills me up a couple bowls of stir fry, it was yummy. We go to Church for Kevin's birthday, there is about 10 of us, Poof Cat included. We get the big round table, and immediately Kit decides we should play thumper. We play thumper for about an hour, and I must say, watching Poof Cat make signs for eating vagina, motorboating it, twisting nipples, etc. is quite hilarious. Well, yatta yatta yatta we get drunk, KMFP takes us back to her house, her, MLA, and I watch Superbad again, then pass out. The next morning/afternoon we go to Taboon. It was ok except when I noticed a hair on MLA's bread and KMFP tried to grab it off and we realized it was baked into the bread, ha. Ok, now onto the exciting night. Friday, McBest and I make our usual trip to MSU to party. Immediately we jump on the beer pong table and dominate (when I say dominate I mean we won, but McBest airballed 45/50 shots he took and I had to carry the team) either way we dominated for about 5 or 6 games until someone who lives there cheated and tried to claim house rules won him the game, but we won't get into that. I'm out on the porch with McBest, I'm smoking a Black & Mild, him a blade. There are a couple more people out there smoking blades. I finish my Black and go inside. Em Len says "Hey, what's that smell?" As she says that, I see smoke rising right in front of my eyes. I look down, my fucking sweatshirt is on fire, my favorite sweatshirt. I'm fucking on fire. No, I do not stop, drop, and roll. I put it out with my hands, and there is a fucking giant hole all the way through the pocket of my sweatshirt, and the actual sweatshirt. I've come to the conclusion that some idiot flick their cigarette and it landed in my pocket without me noticing, and burned it's way through, catching me on fire. I mean honestly, who catches on fire at a party? Naturally, I was a little upset my favorite sweatshirt got burned. So, I go back out to the porch with McBest for another Black & Mild. Then as we are out there, this annoying heavy set girl that has for some reason been on my case all night comes outside with these two guys she is with. They start smoking cigarettes, and they think it is funny to poor a little salt on the wound and start ragging on me about my sweatshirt. It's not like I was in a bad mood or anything, just a little bummed about the shirt, so I just give them an old fashioned smart ass remark that anyone who knows me knows I like to give them. Well apparently sarcasm is not a favorite of the two "tough guys" and Roseanne. So one of them says to me "OH, fucking tough guy smoking a cigar...WITH A FILTER!" Ok, now, it starts to get to me, but I think to myself, these guys are a bit smaller than me, I know there is two of them, but still, they're smaller than me. Also, alcohol is the courage medicine so it makes people think they are a bit tougher and bigger than they are. I'm not a jerk or anything so I still just leave it alone. Then they keep going on and going on saying Black & Milds are for girls and are saying I'm a girl and really, I just wanted them to shut the hell up and go inside of something. WIth no intention of fighting or being a bully I get quite loud and say "Look bitch, you're smoking a cigarette, cigarETTE! I'm smoking a cigar, you are smoking a cigarETTE, ETTE means it is the female version, like smurfs, and smurfette (yes I actually said that) So YOU guys are the bitches, YOU guys are the girls. YOU have a filter on you cigarETTE! You little bitch." Then I notice a beer cup on the railing, filled to the to with beer, so I smack it off the railing and into the grass. "Dude that was my beer" says tough guy #1. "I didn't see your fucking name on it, did I?" I reply loudly. He doesn't reply, and they retreat inside. The next morning, McBest tells me I intimidated the hell out of the 2 kids, I felt bad at first, but I'm over it. For those of you reading this that smoke cigarettes, I don't think your girls, it was just the first thing that popped into my head to yell at those guys. Also, no I'm not a bully, I am definitely not one of those people that goes to parties and starts stuff with people, like I said, they instigated it, I tried to ignore it, but I can only handle so much, plus I just wanted them to go inside. I had no intentions in engaging in fisticuffs. After that all happened, McBest left with some girl, I passed out on the couch watching the remaining to guests battle it out in guitar hero, experienced one of the roommates yell at them for being so loud while playing guitar hero since he had to get up early the next morning and graduate from college, I'd say he was understandably upset. Morning rolled in, I went and picked up McBest and headed on back to the A-Deuce. That's all folks.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El


“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”-Jimi Hendrix

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

Insomnia

For the past month I absolutely CANNOT get to sleep before 3 am, last night it was 4:15 am. Even when I have to getting up for class after only a couple hours of sleep, not taking any naps during the day, I still can't get to sleep. It's ridiculous. I'm so damn bored at night. There is nothing on T.V. but infomercials and re-runs of shows I watched earlier in the day. I'm so bored that tonight, actually at this very moment, I am sitting in the dark with the glow from my laptop being my only light, by myself, listening to Johnny Cash. How depressing. I just have so many thing I my mind that I need to get off. Luckily tomorrow I'm going back to Flint to go to Church with McBest, Daddy and Co. Then Friday going to Michigan State to party at Em Len's and C-Dow's apartment. Hopefully this weekend relieves some stress so I can actually go to sleep at a proper hour when I need to. Thankfully I leave for Florida in 9 days. I really can't wait to be in a stress-free atmosphere.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El


“if you have the opportunity to play this game of life you need to appreciate every moment. a lot of people don`t appreciate the moment until it`s passed”-Kanye West

Monday, December 3, 2007

Great pick-up line I heard on T.V.

"Is your name sneeze? Because God blessed you."

Oh-Eh,
Kal El

Fun new retarded activity for when I'm bored...

Not only is my memory foam cover on my bed the most comfortable thing you will ever sleep on, I realized something new and kind of fun when you're really really really bored. I was watching T.V. and when scrubs was over I pressed my face on the foam, released it really fast, and an impression of the face I was making stayed in the foam for about 5-10 seconds after I took it off. It's pretty entertaining...ha.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El

What really grinds my gears....Session 2.

You know what really grinds my gears? This new movie coming out "Walk Tall: The Dewy Cox Story" or something like that. First of all it is made with the sidekick from the unfunny comedy "Talladega Night: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby." You know, the guy who had the catch phrase "Shake and Bake" that was funny the first time he said it, but the next 249 times he said it you were just like, why does he keep saying that? Yea, that guy. He wasn't funny as a sidekick, what makes you think he'll be funny starring in a movie. Second of all, this one really gets me, it is a spoof on one of my favorite movies of all time "Walk the Line." Based on one of my favorite musicians, the late Johnny Cash. It seems a bit disrespectful to spoof the life of one of the most respected country musicians of all time, especially since he is dead. Also, Walk the Line was a true story so how can you spoof a true story? I don't get it. It's fucked up. Yes, I'm probably only mad about this because I'm a huge Johnny Cash fan and it was one of my favorite movies, but oh well, it's still ssscccchhhtttoooopid.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El



“Success is having to worry about every damn thing in the world, except money.”-Johnny Cash

Sunday, December 2, 2007

Well, well, well...

Looks like Ohio State is going back to the BCS National Championship once again...where's Michigan? Motor City Bowl or something?

Saturday, December 1, 2007

Ideas....

So last night playing Wii with Griggs and my roommates we came up with an idea. What if Nintendo made a version of Wii sports for college students? Including Beer Pong, Quarter Bounce, Flip Cup, Darts and so on. Yea it doesn't go along with the usual child friendly Nintendo natuer, but oh well, they can make it for adults only. I think that would be awesome.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El

For the Head Artichoke.

It was a long time ago, well not really, but in the the Artichoke land it was. The Head Artichoke stated his enjoyment for drunk posts. So here you go. I know what you're thinking, his grammar and spelling is way too good for being drunk, well, I review, spell check, and all that crap to make sure my shit is good. Yea, see? I said shit is good, that isn't good grammar now is it? MAMA! HOW THEM TATERS DOIN'! Ha, you know. Well anyway, on a more civilized NON-piece of hick-cow-shit-golddiggin'-onlywithherbecausesheisdominatinginthesack-note, I'm drunk. I find myself most interesting and opinionative about the scum of the earth when I've been drinking. Now, today MLA IMed me with great excitement.

"MLA: Today I met a guy who went to Camp Copneconic AS A CAMPER
MLA: An older guy. He works in the lib
Me: that's odd
Me: haha
MLA: I know, random
MLA: It's weird to think that we have alumni"

So I ask her the question, what are we? Are we considered alumni even though we didn't go there? But we worked there? Is that considered alumni? But my exact question was, what are we? Are we considered former puppets? I guess puppets isn't the best word to describe us because we did have a mind of our own, which I believe birthed the blog community and caused us to no longer be working there. Not to say those who still work there don't have a mind of their own. Trust me, I know Daddy has a mind of their own, and I've been invited into the mind of McBest, trust me, you don't want to be there, creepy, ha! So if we weren't puppets, and everyone knows we weren't respected employees, what were we? If you could come up with a name for it, I'd like to hear it. MLA seemed to think former puppets was hilarious, I believe her response was, and I quote "hahahahahahaha." I think this post should earn a comment from the Head Artichoke as I think he would give the wisest answer, but still I would love everyone elses' answer, this is a serious question. What the fuck are we? Or were we? I guess besides former puppets we could call ourselves "Avengers for the Youth." That is because during O.E. as well at Summer Camp, we put up with the shit, but we pushed it aside. We pushed it aside as the "Douche Bags...I mean, Powers Above" made our lives miserable and made it so the children had the best possible experience as they could. I guess you could sort of consider us as heroes. Yes? No? I mean yea in our personal lives we didn't exactly lead the lifestyle of a hero, but when the time came and when it really counted, we were all we could be, the best we could be. So why not consider us heroes? My definition of a hero(not meaning to step on any toes)is a person who sets aside all of their personal differences to make sure that other, those that need it most, get what they need. I feel like that is what we did. Whether it was scheduling people on classes they had no idea how to teach, scheduling someone on the same boring ass class all week, or even scheduling way too many horse rides and over working both the ranch staff and the horses. WE STUCK IT OUT! We did our best to teach classes we had no idea about. No we didn't make up bullshit and lie like they wanted us to in order to sound smart, we said what we knew and improvised from there. No we didn't slack off on boring classes we have been teaching all day and hated, we gave 100-fucking-% every class all day. No they didn't show the kids that they were aggravated and frustrated about overworking them and not getting paid extra for it while other employees got offered extra to "help them out" and no they didn't let the kids know the horses were being overworked. WE ALL STUCK IT OUT FOR THE KIDS. We made those fucking powers above look good! But luckily they took us to a shit ass discount family restaurant that gave everyone gas to make us feel appreciated! Thank you, if it wasn't for that, I would have felt unnoticed! You guys are awesome. But on a serious note, everyone who ever worked O.E., whether it be all season or just a few weeks after you got done with school like some people did, and those who worked this summer(mission team anyway) or any summer, you guys are heroes in my book, and I am really happy people like you are still around. If it wasn't for people like you, well I guess I can say us, life wouldn't be the same and the future would be fucked. So thank you guys, all of you. Also, thanks for being the best friend I hate ever had. Head Artichoke, this was the best post I could come up with, it came from the heart, and the drunken mind, so I hope you enjoy it. I hope everyone enjoys it. Also, please answer my question that was asked way earlier in the post, everyone who reads this, EVERYONE! EVEN YOU!!!!!

Oh-Eh,
Kal El

"When you can't do much, do what you can."-I forgot