Saturday, October 24, 2009


This looks freakin' awesome and I can't wait for it.

Kal El

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Oh Billy, boy, when is it you'll find what you're looking for.

Here's a nice piece of shit!

So I'm blogging again, decided to stop being lazy. The title and the first line, if you didn't know, is from Billy Madison. I think I'm going to name all my posts after some of my favorite movie quotes, and coincidentally, I think this one kind of relates to the post.

Well, I've been in South Carolina for about 2 months now, pretty much settled in, made some friends, got to know the town and am making money. Next step, try to take some classes.

But, I'm not sure if I like this life down here. Yea, I have money now, yea I'm closer to my niece and nephews and of course my sisters. I have met some cool people and I'm real close to a beautiful beach, but I don't really feel in place here. Now before I go on, I want to make sure people don't think this is some kind of whiny emo pussy post, I'm not whining, I'm not depressed or sad or anything like that, this is just how I feel and isn't that what blogging is really all about?


As shitty as a lot of people think and say Michigan is, I love it, I belong there. I have great friends there, the type of friends that I don't ever think I can find more like them. There the type of people that were exactly like me, I could chill with them and just hang out and have a great time no matter what we're doing. They never judged me no matter what. We liked all the same things, did all the same things, understood each other, had the exact same sense of humor, and I just can't find people down here like that. Of course, I still talk to my friends and I always here about them doing things that we always did while I was there that we did in routine, such as GBI on Mondays, Tom's on the weekends, Playland during a week day, The Loft whenever we wanted to, or just chillin at each others houses. Things I never really thought to be too special, until I no longer had them.

Needless to say, I miss my friends. I miss you guys, and especially the solid core group of friends I do all those things with. I grew up with two sisters, but hanging out with them, I finally felt like I had brothers. I moved 1,000 miles away and can't stop planning what we're going to do when I come home to visit for New Year's.

Don't get me wrong, I love being closer to my sisters and their children, I love being Uncle Adam, I love helping them with their homework and being able to be a part of their development, but, as selfish as it may sound, this isn't really for me. I'm a Michigander, I belong there. I love going up north, I love lakes, not oceans, I love warm weather, not hot weather. As dreadful as they are sometimes, I love the winter, I love snow. Minus not being able to find a job, my life seemed perfect in Michigan and I didn't really want it to change, but because of the terrible economy in Michigan, it was forced to change, it had to change.

Now, you can call me what you want, a homebody, a pussy, selfish, weak, whatever you want, I don't really care. My life is in Michigan, I belong in Michigan. I'm determined to give this place a shot, so it's not like I'm testing the waters and leaving at the first sign of being uncomfortable. I'm giving it a chance for my sisters because I know they love me and miss me when I'm in Michigan, my sister damn near cried when I left the first time. So I'm going to stay for a bit, I'm thinking 2 years. Because if there is one good thing about being down here, it's that I am driven by priorities and responsibilities. That is one thing I had a hard time doing in Michigan. So I'm going to try to go through an irresponsibility detox down here for about 2 years, save as much money as possible, get the job training I planned on getting while down here, and then probably come back to Michigan once I feel like I've done all I can/need to down here and start off on the right foot on my homecoming. Be a new and improved me, the same me, but just improved.

OO-EH from the Souf,
Kal El

"Secrets must be exposed when found. Detours must be taken when encountered. And if you are the one who stands at the crossroads or the place of concealment, you must never leave it to another to act in your place."-Qui-Gon Jinn

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Moving=More Posts?


I'm moving down south to Charleston in less than a week and will probably be posting about my new adventures.


Does anyone even read these anymore?

Kal El

Monday, July 20, 2009

Saturday, July 11, 2009

Good Karma and Relocation.

It's been a while since I've had a legit post on here, so here is some news.

I have been dog/cat/house sitting for my friends and on the first day they left I, not even 2 hours, I got a ring on the doorbell. When I answered the door, it was some religious girl trying to get me to talk and talk about god and stuff until I finally told her I don't go to church, haven't in years and that I don't ever plan on going back. I felt kind of bad with the way I said it because I guess I did come off as somewhat of a dick. She then just asked me if I could donate a couple of dollars to help send kids to a bible school, so I gave her a $5 because I felt really bad. After giving her the money and shutting the door I realized what an idiot I am and that I just got suckered out of $5. Oh well, it was a good deed. I go back to what I was doing, pouring a bowl of cereal and I lifted the tab and it said "cash prizes every 10 minutes" so I went to the website and typed in my code, sure enough, I won $5. What goes around comes around I guess.

It's now official, at the end of July/beginning of August, I am moving fffffffaaaar away. Well, Charleston, South Carolina to be exact. So you guys all have about a month left of me so you better try to soak in all the OO-EHs, crass sense of humor and rude sarcasm as you can because when it's gone, it's gone people! Maybe I'll come back for a few visits, maybe.

Well, it wasn't a long post, but it was a post. I'm now off to watch UFC 100 tonight with some friends.

Kal El

Friday, May 29, 2009

Will Ferrell: Hilarious AND Charitable

Will Ferrell has just launched a new sunscreen line starting with 3 SPF 30 lotions in Sun Stroke, Sexy Hot Tan and Forbidden Fruit. 100% of proceeds from sales of the lotions which sell for $12 each will go to the charity Cancer for College’s College Willpowered Scholarship Fund, which grants college scholarships to cancer survivors and amputees.

He had this to say about his new venture, “I’ve always dreamed of owning a lotion company. And I’ve always hated cancer.”

Kal El

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Just applied for this job, what do you think?

Do you think I'm qualified?

Here is the description...

"Boys & Girls Clubs of Southeastern Michigan
James & Lynelle Holden Club

Successful candidate will meet the following criteria:

Ability to run sports and games for children 6-18 years old
Organized and dependable
Previous experience working with children
Knowledge of multiple sports and games for children
Ability to teach new games and sports to children
Knowledge of running a sports league

Hours are:
10 am-6 pm

$8-10.00 an hour"

My only problem with it is it is located in Detroit, about an hour away from my house.

Kal El

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

For Matt...

...since you are his biggest fan.

Kal El

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Another new saying that I now hate...

...and this one is one Kit probably won't constantly say just to annoy me.

"No homo" is the saying. It means "I'm not trying to be gay but..."

Example: No homo, bro, we need to hook up soon.

Kal El

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Decision time, and I'd like your help.

Do I stay or do I go?

I've been presented with a pretty tough decision to make.

As some of you may know, I have two sisters, who each have two children. None of which are older than 6 years old. They currently live in Florida, but within the month are moving to South Carolina. Both have been left by the supposed "men" (I call them pussies, cowards, deadbeats, douche bags, ass clowns, etc.) in their lives. My oldest sister, Shannon, has already began dating someone who is already familiar with her two boys, and her two boys adore him like he is their father. But my other sister, Erin, has a 3 year old daughter and a 1.5 year old son, and her being left was just recently. They keep telling me how easy it would be for me to get a job once I move down there, I can live with Erin in her house which has 3 bedrooms, so obviously I'll get my own room. They haven't used this argument to persuade me to come down yet, but I can just tell that Erin would like a helping hand with the two children she has, and, well, they miss me of course, who the hell wouldn't?

So I'm left with this decision and I would like the opinions of my fellow Artichokians.

Should I stay here, in Michigan, where all of my friends are, but in a shitty job market. Or move down to South Carolina(Charleston to be exact) where my nephews and niece are, I will have a job, but no friends and be forced to make new ones which I'm not really good at.

What do you guys think?

Kal El

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Sherlock Holmes

The trailer for the new Sherlock Holmes movie looks like this movie will be pretty good. I sure hope so.

Kal El

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Letter to the Citizens of Metropolis.

Even though I believe I'm the only one here that watches Smallville(since Steve deep down really doens't like Superman, lol) in the season 8 finale he was forced to fight Doomsday. In this season he has embraced himself as the protector of Metropolis, but in case he died at the hands of the only being that has ever killed him, he wrote this goodbye letter to the citizens of Metropolis. They didn't show what the letter said on the show, but here it is. I read it, and really liked it so I'm putting it up here.

"You have welcomed me into your city and allowed me to make it my home. I will always be grateful for that. Which is why I cannot leave without saying goodbye. This newspaper has made me into what you think I am - an example, a symbol, a "hero." But the truth is, I'm simply one of you. The only difference is that my days in the shadows and my nights in the streets have allowed me to see what you've lost sight of - the good in each of you.

I've seen regular people do extraordinary things. I've seen you help each other up after you've been knocked down. I've seen you stand together when times are tough. And I've seen the smallest act make the biggest change. If I've done anything right, I hope it's help you realize one person can make a difference in the lives of others - that Metropolis doesn't need a hero. Have faith in yourself, and you will find hope in each other.

Remember, it's not the mask that makes the hero. It's the choices we make and the desire to do what's right. I've seen that desire in all of you. It inspired me to promise I would do everything in my power to protect this city - but I can't promise that I'll be around forever. One day, there may be a fight I cannot win.

But if that day comes, please, keep fighting without me to make the world a better place. Be the heroes I know you are."

Kal El

Thursday, May 7, 2009

This game looks awesome.

If you like Westerns, as most of us do/should, this game is going to be awesome. It is made from Rockstar and is an open world "GTA" type game, just a western. Looks great.

Kal El

Monday, May 4, 2009

This is pretty cool.

Thought this looked pretty cool.

Kal El

Friday, May 1, 2009

I should have thought of this to get off jury duty.

This guy has some balls. He wrote this letter to get out of jury duty.

Click on the picture to be able to read it.

Kal El

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Real life Pac-Man

Haha, this video made me laugh.

Kal El

Tuesday, April 28, 2009

My favorite time of year. The NFL Draft

I know it's been a couple days and I told Matt I would do this once the draft was over, but let's just say I wanted to take a day or two to think about it first, or I'm just lazy.

Matthew Stafford, QB, 1st overall-Ever since the 2008 season ended I wanted an offensive lineman. I didn't want a QB. Culpepper came back to training camp this year 30 lbs. lighter and is looking like his old self. Even more so since he is reunited with his offensive coordinator from his successful days in Minnesota, Scott Linehan. I would have rather drafted and OT with the first pick, but, it didn't happen, I'm over it. I think Stafford was an alright choice, if he is handled correctly, he could be good. When I say handled correctly, I mean not really see any, maybe limited time this season. Now Matt has already said that he thinks Stafford would have to play 35% of the snaps this season to maximize his contract. I don't agree. I think we should be safe with him. Let him sit for a year, obviously getting some snaps in the pre-season. If he is rushed, he could turn into a bust. But if we rest him this whole season, let him learn the ups and downs of the league and the new system he is in, get to know his teammates, I think that is the way he could maximize the huge contract he was given. If he plays this year and it causes him to be a bust, we just lost a lot of money. If we rest him and next year he is stud and gets us into the playoffs consistently, then he has earned his money. The only way I want to see him pay a significant amount of time this season is if the season turns out to be an obvious wash, or if Culpepper gets hurt. But, I'm hoping Culpepper stays healthy, and I honestly don't think this season is going to be a wash.

Brandon Pettigrew, TE, 20th overall-A lot of people, along with myself, thought this pick was going to be an OT, Michael Oher to be exact. But it wasn't. It was a surprising TE, but he is the best TE in the draft and I have grown to like him, a lot. Here is why. He is huge, 6-6 around 250 lbs. He is a great blocking TE and a great receiver who is another huge target for our QB. In a way, he could serve as an OT in the TE position because of his great blocking skills. I'm going to put another selection in this review section because they go well together. TE Dan Gronkowski, there 7th round selection. He is another huge TE who will serve well as a blocker and is a decent receiver. Our coordinator, Linehan, likes to run a 2 TE set and what better TEs to have in that system than two huge, blocking TEs who can also catch a ball. These two will help out our O-Line giving them extra people to help block opposing DEs and opening up space for our receivers and running backs. They can also help chip away at DEs or LBs to slow them down then jump out for a pass and get the balled dumped to them to move the chains. Also, along with Calvin Johnson who stands at 6'5", we will be a red zone team that no one will want to mess with. That's what you want in the red zone, big tall players with great leaping ability(which Pettigrew has with a basketball background, and Johnson has because he is a freak) to get over everyone and bring the ball down in the end zone for 6. I like these picks.

Louis Delmas, S, 33rd overall-When this pick came along, I was thinking Rey Maualuga was going to be our starting MLB this season. But again, I was surprised when they picked Louis Delmas. I was a bit angry at the time, but like Pettigrew, he grew on me. Delmas is a hard hitting, knock the snot out of you, safety. Much like Bob Sanders with the Colts. When Sanders isn't on the field, the Colts run defense takes a huge dive. Delmas could be the defensive leader we wanted and needed. He is also a quick ball hawk who will keep QBs scared to through and cause them to hesitate, or he could jump the line of scrimmage and get a sack on the QB or at least hurry him into and incompletion or an INT. I like this pick, although I believe we could have maybe got him later, I still like it. He will be an instant starter and a hard hitter, which we need and Coach Schwartz said he wants on his defense.

DeAndre Levy, LB, 76th overall-I honestly don't know much about this guy except what I have read from the people who drafted him. He is a hard hitter and can knock downhill running backs on their asses. So I like him. They are considering starting him at MLB, he is a bit undersized, but hey, we will see.

Derrick Williams, WR/RS, 82nd overall-This guy is small, and quick. And for those who don't know what the RS stands for, Return Specialist, which is just what we need, badly. Our return game was horrendous last year and he is only going to help it get better. So obviously, he is going to be an instant starter for special teams and might even see some playing time at WR. I like this pick.

Sammie Lee Hill, DT, 115th overall-This is by far my favorite pick in the draft for the Lions. I am so happy we got this guy. He is the huge run stopper we needed to plug up the wholes in our D-Line. If he succeeds, Delmas, Sim, Peterson, Levy, OUR DEFENSE succeeds. IF coached properly this mammoth 6'4" 329 lbs. DT will be our saviour and I really hope this works out because he is a great kid with a great heart. Also is the hero type. He and friends once helped an old man from a burning building. Look it up. Love this kid. Love his heart. Love his size.

This is all I can type now. If someone wants to know what I think about the other 2 or 3 picks, just make a comment about it and I let you know. My hands are starting to hurt.

Here's to a successful 2009 season!

Kal El

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Ruining Gym Class

I just saw this and was outraged. This is courtesy of

"We just caught a recent episode Real Sports With Bryant Gumbel and were surprised to learn that in schools all across America various Principals and gym teachers are changing physical education the way we remember it. Games like dodgeball, jump rope and tag which may cause kids to get hurt are being removed for safer games - like playing tag by stepping on someones shadow, not touching them and jumping rope without the actual rope, just moving your hands like a crazy person. Taking it one step further other gym teachers are removing all games that require competition, so the kids can never be “winners” or “losers” again. Sounds like fun………

Is this as stupid as we think it is??? Or are these teachers right….

Now would be time to talk about you bitter childhood memories….LOSER! (we kid.)"


Kal El

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Superman on "The Ronnie Johns Half Hour"

I thought this was pretty funny, in sort of a simple way.

Kal El

Saturday, April 18, 2009

My favorite children's show of all time.

Eureeka's Castle. For so many years people always made fun of me because I don't eat the traditional PB&J. I just eat peanut butter sandwiches. Well, thanks to wikipedia, I figured out why. Because in my favorite T.V. show as a child, Eureeka's Castel, my favorite characters, Bogge and Quagmire, LOVED peanut butter sandwiches and that is ALL they ate.

If you've never heard of Eureeka's Castle, shame on you, but here is the opening theme anyway. Just imagine a 5 year old, blonde haired little Adam sitting on the floor in front of the T.V. with my eyes glued and my chocolate milk and cookies my mom always had waiting for me. Singing along, of course.

Eureka's Castle Intro - The best free videos are right here

A nostalgic Kal El

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Pictures from Iraq

Here are some pictures from one of my best friend, David's, time in Iraq. Some are from his first deployment and some from his second.

Fortunately, I get to pick him up from the airport for leave in May and take him home to surprise his parents who aren't aware he is coming home. Unfortunately, it's a month away and has to go back when leave is over. Here's to hoping he makes it home safely.

Kal El

Friday, April 10, 2009

New E-Mail Address

Thursday, April 9, 2009


I am fucking pumped for this movie. Seth Rogen is my idol!

Kal El

Wednesday, April 8, 2009

GM x Segway P.U.M.A

Here are a few questions. Will this really help GM stay out of bankruptcy? Would you drive this around your city? Will they ban cabs, buses and trucks to avoid mass murder? Hit the jump to see the final concept! It will debut this week in New York for the auto show. Did I mention it seats 2 and goes up to 35MPH?

Kal El

The Horse Chandelier

The horse chandelier designed by fashion designer Stella McCartney is now on display at Belsay Castle in the UK.

Kal El

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Mutant Chronicles.

Never heard of this until I watched this, but it looks like it has potential.

Kal El

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Where the Wild Things Are

Hopefully this movie is you guys think it will be?

Kal El

Thursday, March 19, 2009

I need these shoes.

The new Puma L.I.F.T. shoes. Need them.

Kal El

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Double Pits to Chesty.

MLA put a funny commercial that made her laugh. So I'm doing this one. I saw this in the movie theater before the previews started and it was real quiet and I laughed my ass off, loudly, and looked like an idiot. Totally worth it.

Kal El

Saturday, March 14, 2009

I need to see this!

A documentary about the greatest boxer of all time.

"Iron" Mike Tyson.

Kal El

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Johnny Depp...Public Enemies.

This is the trailer for the new movie "Public Enemies" starring Johnny Depp and Christian Bale.

I can't wait to see it!

Kal El

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

New feature, plus Lions talk.

I just added a new widget to my blog. As you can see on the sidebar under the links to the other blogs in our community, is a "Lions News" widget. Since I love talking about the Lions, and rarely find time to blog unless I have a specific reason, I put it there in case someone (probably only Matt and Kit) sees something on there they want to talk about, or hear something they want to talk about, I urge you to just comment on the latest post, my email will inform me, and I will make a post answering your question and discussing more things as soon as possible.

On that note, the Lions have made a few free agent signings. They aren't anything HUGE, but they are very good additions. For starters...

-WR Bryant Johnson. Johnson is a good combo of size (6'3", 211 lbs.) and speed. He will definitely compete for the second spot opposite the other Johnson in that position, Calvin, who is 6'5" and disgustingly fast. This is a good thing, especially for a team like the Lions who don't exactly have a franchise quarterback. Obviously, when a receiver is big, it is easier to get them the ball because the range of targeted space is larger than say, a 5'11" speed receiver. Another free agent signing, well, resigning I would love to see from them is Shaun McDonald, the Lions slot receiver from the passed couple years. With two large targets spreading the defense from the outside, and quick McDonald running across the center of the field, it should be easy for projected starter, Daunte Culpepper, to find open targets, especially with an addition they made I am going to talk about next. This addition was much needed since Culpepper never really was known for his accuracy.

-RB Maurice Morris. Maurice is a good veteran running back, who is still quite young at the age of 29. Morris is somewhat of a career backup. For the last 7 years, he has been playing for Seattle. There, he started out backing up Pro-Bowler and one time MVP Shaun Alexander, until last season when he backed up Julius Jones for the same team. I love this signing. I love it because, we have our running back in second year pro, Kevin Smith. Smith proved last year to be a very solid RB and a potential game breaker. Another thing I like about this is Morris' role up until now, a back up. He knows what he is and he knows what he is expected to do. In the NFL, 29 is considered to be the start of decline for a running back because of all the wear and tear on their bodies. But Morris, being a back up his entire career, hasn't received the punishment most backs have. Plus, he has always been a great back up, many times considered to be starting caliber on other teams. We now have a "two-headed" tandem in our backfield. Now we just need to shore up our offensive line.

-We re-signed Kicker, Jason Hanson, enough said.

-DT Grady Jackson. Jackson is huge. I am talking 6'2" 350 lbs. Although he is rather old, 36, Jackson is a great run stopper. One of the best the league has seen. I am pleased because this might mean Cory Redding will go back to his old self when he had another huge nose tackle, Shaun Rogers, commanding a lot of double teams, as will Jackson. The only thing that would make me happier about this signing is if the Lions went out and got Jackson's old running mate, DT Rod Coleman, who is also a free agent and a GREAT run stopper, and a few years younger, 32. This move would allow Cory Redding to move to defensive end, where instead of being a somewhat undersized DT, he will be a powerful, somewhat oversized DE. Leaving our D-Line looking like this DE-White DT-Jackson DT-Coleman DE-Redding. That is a beastly line and would fit perfect in new head coach Swartz's "We must get bigger and stronger" philosophy. This move would also sure up what we would do with out first pick in the draft. We could move second year DE, Cliff Avril, to OLB opposite Ernie Sims, and draft Aaron Curry to man MLB. Aaron curry has been projected by most draft "experts" as the safest pick in the draft, and smartest (in my opinion, too) pick for the Lions. The only downside is the age of the two DT's. But this downside also comes with an upside. We have a young, one time promising DT in Shaun Cody. He is big. 6'2", 310 lbs. He just hasn't really progressed, his only real mentor was Shaun Rogers, who was always so out of shape he would be forced to take plays off. Not a good mentor. Jackson and Coleman are both great veterans and leaders who could teach Cody a few things and hopefully help develop him.

-CB Anthony Henry. I am happy with this acquisition. All we lost was Jon Kitna, and let's face it, his career with Detroit was done last season, so no real loss there. Henry is a solid veteran back who will help sure up our secondary a little bit. Let's just hope we resign Leigh Bodden, whom we cut earlier this off-season for "cap reasons."

I think that's it for now. Any questions, comments of concerns? Just comment and we can discuss.

Here's hoping for the best this off-season...

Kal El

Friday, February 27, 2009

My heart is broken.

I always knew one day he would retire. Every year I was hoping it wouldn't happen. He hasn't retired. It's worse.


I am beyond pissed off. I am heart broken.

No OO-EH this time,
Kal El

In dedication of my hero, here is his highlight clip of his career with the Philadelphia Eagles, probably the best career for a safety in NFL history.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Bitch, get off of your high horse.

To be honest, this is another "Grind My Gears" session. So this should really be, "What Really Grinds My Gears Session 12." But I figured I have done too many in the past few posts, so I'll change it up a bit. Plus I thought this title would draw more attention.


...You know what really grinds my gears? People that are on their high horse, especially with no particular reason. It all started about a year and a half ago. A few weeks, maybe a month, before I moved back to Grand Blanc from Ann Arbor, my friend started "dating" this girl. Now I put that in quotations because myself and other friends could never figure out what exactly they were and they never gave us straight answers. But anyway...

...this girl is pretty much, well....a bitch. She annoys the hell out of me. But since I've known her, my friend has been "dating/infatuated" with her, so I've always bit my tongue, and sometimes, as some of you know, is kind of hard for me. Lately, she has really, REALLY, pissed me off to the point where I almost burst with anger and bitch her out so bad that she would look like such a fucking idiot that she would never be able to show her face around anyone who was there to witness the rant and possibly any of her friends because it would be such an epic rant that people would be talking about it for years. But, being a good friend, I continue to hold my tongue.

To give you a bit of a description of her, she doesn't have a mind of her own. She is a republican. She is obsessed with Lil' Wayne(which should be a reason to hate her, but, we won't get into that). She is OBSESSED with diet and exercise, although she wolfs down food like it actually has legs and is about to run away. For example, my friend, her and her friend went to see "Friday the 13th"(which I loved). I was the only one to get popcorn. For some odd reason that I can't even begin to think of, she sat next to me. Surprisingly, I was able to actually watch the movie despite her tapping me every 5 seconds, saying "Resh, can I just get ONE more handful of popcorn, I swear it's my last." This cunt(Yes, I said cunt) did this about 15 times during the movie. I almost got up and yelled, "TAKE THE FUCKING POPCORN! JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP" But, being the good friend I am, I didn't. And did I mention, her opinions are always, ALWAYS, right and there is no possible argument, not even in you have UNDENIABLE PROOF!, that will win against her. Whatever she says is "right." If she said the world is flat and you tried to argue with her, although you and everyone in the room knew you were right, you would just want to rip your fucking hair out, poke your eyes out, and be given the world's most epic titty twister just to be able to take your mind off of her mind numbing ignorance.

Now, those of you that know me, know that I LOVE sports and am obsessed with sports medicine and everything there is to know about getting in shape. From what is the healthiest, to what is the least healthiest way to get in shape. Well, one night, she tells us this new diet her and her friend(extremely gorgeous, I mean perfect) are going on. I, in a friendly manner, put in my 2 cents about the diet. I even stated that I had no problem with them going on the diet, because it was none of my business, I was just trying to help them out. Well, she takes this as an opportunity to argue with me and tell me that she is right, I am wrong, end of discussion. OK, I can let this slide. Barely, but I can let this slide.

BUT! This bitch crossed the line the other night(but, again, for my friend, I bit my tongue. Which I wish I didn't because I swear I wanted to make this bitch wish she never lived. You guys will understand because it has to do with you). I, one night, started to talk about our camp, Wewabeca, which I mentioned to all of my friends before. Well, one night, I told them the exciting news about us getting our first camper. And the first thing this STUPID BITCH asked me was....

"What is the name of your camp?"

"Wewabeca, it means, We WAnt A BEtter CAmp."

Well, apparently I just made a joke. Because her and her stuck up friend thought it was hilarious and just kept laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing and laughing(You'd think I'd over do it with the "and laughing" but no, this is how much they laughed.) Even my friend, who always takes things light hearted and lets things roll off his shoulder, thought this was fucked up. They wouldn't even let me get a word in after that. Wouldn't let me explain what we were about, what we were trying to do, nothing.

Given my year long history of holding my tongue with all the ignorant, retarded shit she says ALL THE TIME! I finally snapped. Unfortunately, for you guys, I'm not going to put that rant on there because, well, it was more of a blind rage so I don't really remember what I said to her, I just remember the priceless look on her face after I was done. It was one of those "OMG, I like, can't believe someone actually talked like that to me." It felt great, amazing. I was so happy to get a year's worth of frustration out on this worthless cum rag of a person. I hate her. I hate her with a passion. She is one of those people that you hate SO MUCH that you actually would rather have bad things happen to yourself, than good things happen to her. That is how much I hate her. I would rather be hit by a bus and paralyzed from the waste down than have her win the lottery. I hate her, hate her. She's a bitch.

But, being spiteful isn't my thing, that's why I have a blog. So, after I hit the "Publish Post" button, I will forget about this and give this girl a clean slate...That's just the way I am.

Kal El

Thursday, February 19, 2009

Superman the Slam Dunk Contest...

...but loses.

Last year when Dwight Howard did his "Superman" dunk he has been called Superman since. This year in the Slam Dunk Contest, he came out of a phone booth dress in a Superman cape to the Superman theme and dunked on a 12 foot rim(regulation is 10 ft.) easily. But didn't win.

Why didn't he win? Nate Robinson beat him. Dwight Howard is 6'11". Nate Robinson is 5'9". How did Nate Robinson win it? He finished by dunking over top of the 6'11" Dwight Howard while he was wearing his Superman cape. Nate Robinson went in the back to change before his dunk and came out in a green New York Knicks uniform, with green shoes, a green arm sleeve and in the final round, a green ball. He dunked over Dwight using the green ball and called himself "Kryptonate" instead of Kryptonite. And won. Here it is.

First, Dwight Howard's dunk from last year to get dubbed "Superman"

Now, this years from Nate Robinson:(it starts at about 1:09, remember, 5'9" over 6'11")

I love the Slam Dunk Contest now that they have Superman themes.

Kal El

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

What really grinds my gears....Session 10.

You know what really grinds my gears? LADY BUGS! I FUCKING HATE LADY BUGS!!!

I remember being a kid and people telling me if I saw a lady bug, it was good luck. They were pretty rare and a delight to see. Now-a-days it seems like these little assholes are EVERYWHERE! It's annoying. I hate them. I already hate bugs, but especially hate nosey bugs. These little fuckers will just crawl on anything they can crawl on and multiply and multiply no matter how many I kill. I hate them. Some of these bastards even bite. How could anyone EVER think these ugly pieces of shit were good luck? If they were good luck then I would have won the lottery or struck oil or something like that by now. But nope, I'm broke and oilless. Fuck these things. I am putting out a hit on EVERY lady bug you see. If you see it, kill that fucker. Even go out of your way to kill the fuckers if you have to. Now, I already stated I was broke, so there will be no money reward for each lady bug you kill, just do it because they are annoying.

Has anyone else noticed the increase in the population of lady bugs lately? And by lately I mean past year or so. It's annoying, bugs are gross. I'm done.

Kal El

Monday, February 16, 2009

What really grinds my gears....Session 9.

It's back. It's been a while. A lot of things since my last session have certainly caused my gears to grind, but not enough for a post. But now, I do have something.

Warning: This post is about video games.

You know what really grinds my gears? Halo 3 and the dumb people that make it, Bungie. I really hope they read this and fix all the mistakes I am about to point out.

For starters, spawn points. Why in the fuck would they ever think it a good idea to spawn the other team behind you? It totally negates the idea of team work. In Halo, the best form of team work is to stick together and hold down a spot in the map. But here is the kicker, if you're holding a spot down, you are sure enough going to get picked off or beat down(or picked down and beat off? No?) and it is going to force your team to spread out, and cause your shitty people that you get matched up with to fend for themselves and essentially get destroyed(I refuse to use the word pwned, if that's how you spell it) and lose the game for you.

To continue with spawn points, why would you spawn someone in the middle of a battle? Why would you spawn someone next to a Warthog occupied by the other team and get gunned down by a turret? This shit just doesn't make any sense what so ever. I mean, I get they that they want to keep it random so people can't spawn kill, but in the campaign it refuses to spawn you in the middle of combat, WHY CAN'T THEY IMPLEMENT THAT INTO ONLINE PLAY?

Now, the dreaded "Noob Combo." The "Noob Combo" is when someone runs at you with a charger plasma pistol to take down your shield instantly then hit you once with a Battle Rifle. I realize they changed the pistol a little bit from Halo 2 so while your charging it, it wastes away, but still. Get rid of the fucking plasma pistol, that is it's only use and it pisses people off. Very seldom do you see people using it to power down a vehicle. GET RID OF IT!

Now on to EXP(Experience Points). This isn't really a big deal, it just annoys me because it gives shitty people the false hope that they are actually good. The way they do EXP now has taken all of the honor out of Brigadier status and General? I think that is the highest one. It is dumb for a few reasons. If you play enough games(Not sure on the amount) it will automatically move you up to this status. Halo should be like the workplace, just because you have been there forever doesn't necessarily mean you deserve a promotion. If Tommy Dumbshit has been muddling his way around the Mail Room for 30 years, you aren't going to promote him to President of the company just because he has been there the longest.

Another problem with EXP is quitters. If you quit, you lose an EXP. Yes, you're level goes down, BUT if you have very little EXP(which you will if you keep quitting) you level up a lot faster. So, if you're getting your ass whooped in a game, you're already going to level down, why not quit and lose an EXP so you can level up faster on wins. It also screws you over when someone is hell bent on getting their EXP down and their level up, so they get into your game, quit, and you're down a man and , more times than not, lose. It's fucked up.

Next, Smashed. The new level Bungie made, well, recreated out of Foundry. That map SUCKS SOMETHING FIERCE. If there was an award for worst map every constructed, this map would get it. That is all I'm saying about it. It's just shitty. Ok, that's all I'm going to say on it.

The Spartan Laser. Dumb weapon. Dumb, dumb weapon. In maps like Standoff, it is an unfair advantage. Well, I guess you can't really classify it as an advantage because both teams have an equal chance at getting it, but once that happens, the fun is over. There is no sniper in the map so all the guy with the laser does is stand in the back and dominate and is virtually untouchable. Please, just get rid of the laser. How will you destroy vehicles you ask? Easy, make the Rocket Launcher lock on to vehicles like it did in Halo 2. Much better weapon.

That is all for now, I guess. Whoever actually made it past this post's warning might have some questions. Why do I still play it if I have so many complaints? Easy, loyalty. I loved the first 2 and will never stop playing it, just want it fixed. And, I will probably get accused of just whining because it sounds like I am just getting my ass whooped in the game. No, I am complaining because it makes it boring. I have been on both the receiving end and the giving end and both are equally shitty. I've stood in the back with the laser a few times and dominated, it's just boring.

I am starting to think that Bungie has taken all their gamer's loyalty for granted. They knew a lot of them would still play it because of the Halo name, but they made it easier for people who suck at video games and this game in particular. This game is built for noobs and it's annoying.

I sure hope that Halo 3: ODST is better and more realistic since you are no longer a Spartan. Let us hope.

I know this wasn't as vulgar and full of swears like my previous gears posts, and for my fans, I apologize. The next one will be jam packed full of vulgarity and unpleasantness.

Kal El

Saturday, February 7, 2009



Seriously, are people really STILL surprised that every stud in baseball past and present was on steroids? Come the fuck on.

Can't we just assume every player is juicin' and just say fuck it and be done with it. No matter how many people get snitched on and how many sluggers go to court for it, they are still going to cheat to try to get that extra step. There is no way to stop them. As long as there are untraceable substances out there players are going to keep doing it. I know it's not right, but sadly, that is just baseball these days. I'm not proud to say that America's favorite pass time is filled with a bunch of cheaters, but it is, and snitching on a few all star sluggers and dragging it out for years and years(Barry Bonds) it's not going to end. So stop talking about it. FUCK!

Kal El

Monday, February 2, 2009

Welcome to Sixburgh!

No, I'm not a huge Steelers fan. Yes, I hate the Cardinals. Yes, I hate Kurt Warner(even more because right before the Super Bowl he started to talk about Spygate again and thinks the Rams should have won it over the Patriots even though they confirmed they didn't tape the walk through) Yes, I love Philadelphia. Yes, the Cardinals beat them to go to the Super Bowl. And yes, I can still be happy for the Sixburgh Steelers because they are from Pennsylvania so we can share some of the glory.

OH YEA! I ALMOST FORGOT! An Ohio State Buckeye caught the game winning touchdown!

OH YEA! I ALMOST FORGOT! An Ohio State Buckeye was the Super Bowl MVP!

So for Santonio Holmes, let's talk about championships he has won. He has one in every level he has played.
-High School State Championship.
-College National Championship(GO BUCKS!)
-NFL Super Bowl Championship(In which he was the MVP)

Come on all you Wolverines, I've already talked to many of you people, that's right, YOU PEOPLE, and they have agreed to give credit where credit was due.

Hey, what's there to be mad about, guys? At least Woodley(U of M) and Foote(U of M) caused and recovered that last fumble at the end. Also Woodley went to my Senior Prom in high school so I have to give him his props.

Also, since Matt has changed to that blog that I am 100% not a fan of, does anyone else(I suggest MLA) want to put all the blogroll updates on their side bar like the Artichoke(R.I.P.) used to have? I feel like I don't check blogs anymore if I don't have an update notification, yea, I'm lazy like that.

Kal El

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

My new obsession

With the recent freezing temperatures, nothing outside of my house has seemed at all appealing to me, I usually just lay around and watch T.V. I flipped through the channels and decided to give "House" a chance. I loved it, great show. I am currently in hour 7 of the 17 hour marathon and there are no signs of me slowing down.

Love this show, if you don't watch it, I suggest giving it a shot.

Kal El

Wednesday, January 14, 2009

My Porn Star I.D.

Kal El

Attempted robbery ends in NFL discussion.

This past week, Michael Irvin has proved that if you are an NFL Hall of Famer, you are immune to danger in the town in which you brought football greatness.

Former Dallas Cowboys Wide Receiver and Hall of Fame inductee, Michael Irvin, was driving in North Dallas when someone pulled up next to him at a traffic light to rob him. Here is the article telling what happened, and Irvin's reaction.

"A passing motorist pointed a handgun at former Dallas Cowboy Michael Irvin as he drove in Far North Dallas on Monday night, according to a police report. The Pro Football Hall of Fame member was not injured. He told police he stopped at a red light in the 18200 block of Marsh Lane, near Bush Turnpike, about 9:30 p.m., when the driver of the vehicle next to him rolled down his window, the police report said. Irvin put down his window because he thought someone wanted to talk to him and saw the passenger in the other vehicle raise a gun, the report said. Irvin said in an interview Tuesday night that he feared the men had planned to rob him and changed their minds when they saw who he was. "The passenger pulled out a semiautomatic and I knew what time it was," Irvin said. "But he said 'Oh, that's Michael Irvin, with the Dallas Cowboys.'." Despite being scared, Irvin said he tried to keep the conversation going. "So we started talking about the Cowboys and everything," he said. "Then they got back on the highway." "I tell you what, I'm glad he was a Cowboy fan," Irvin said."

Crazy. I wonder if it's true that in Texas you get a handgun every time you buy liquor just like in Family Guy.

Kal El

Friday, January 9, 2009


This movie looks really good to me.

Kal El