Sunday, December 9, 2007

Let me stand next to your fire.

Well, I have to say, quite a few interesting things happened this week/weekend, some I can't even say in the blog world for other peoples sake, ha. For starters Thursday I went to Flint to go to Church but first made a stop by KMFP's house to eat my pizza and watch Superbad. So I get there and watch it with her, eat my entire pizza minus the one piece she had. Once my pizza is done, her mother, LMFP, has made stir fry for dinner. She offers me a bowl and I politely decline because I just ate a large pizza. Somehow I'm convinced the pizza wasn't enough, So KMFP fills me up a couple bowls of stir fry, it was yummy. We go to Church for Kevin's birthday, there is about 10 of us, Poof Cat included. We get the big round table, and immediately Kit decides we should play thumper. We play thumper for about an hour, and I must say, watching Poof Cat make signs for eating vagina, motorboating it, twisting nipples, etc. is quite hilarious. Well, yatta yatta yatta we get drunk, KMFP takes us back to her house, her, MLA, and I watch Superbad again, then pass out. The next morning/afternoon we go to Taboon. It was ok except when I noticed a hair on MLA's bread and KMFP tried to grab it off and we realized it was baked into the bread, ha. Ok, now onto the exciting night. Friday, McBest and I make our usual trip to MSU to party. Immediately we jump on the beer pong table and dominate (when I say dominate I mean we won, but McBest airballed 45/50 shots he took and I had to carry the team) either way we dominated for about 5 or 6 games until someone who lives there cheated and tried to claim house rules won him the game, but we won't get into that. I'm out on the porch with McBest, I'm smoking a Black & Mild, him a blade. There are a couple more people out there smoking blades. I finish my Black and go inside. Em Len says "Hey, what's that smell?" As she says that, I see smoke rising right in front of my eyes. I look down, my fucking sweatshirt is on fire, my favorite sweatshirt. I'm fucking on fire. No, I do not stop, drop, and roll. I put it out with my hands, and there is a fucking giant hole all the way through the pocket of my sweatshirt, and the actual sweatshirt. I've come to the conclusion that some idiot flick their cigarette and it landed in my pocket without me noticing, and burned it's way through, catching me on fire. I mean honestly, who catches on fire at a party? Naturally, I was a little upset my favorite sweatshirt got burned. So, I go back out to the porch with McBest for another Black & Mild. Then as we are out there, this annoying heavy set girl that has for some reason been on my case all night comes outside with these two guys she is with. They start smoking cigarettes, and they think it is funny to poor a little salt on the wound and start ragging on me about my sweatshirt. It's not like I was in a bad mood or anything, just a little bummed about the shirt, so I just give them an old fashioned smart ass remark that anyone who knows me knows I like to give them. Well apparently sarcasm is not a favorite of the two "tough guys" and Roseanne. So one of them says to me "OH, fucking tough guy smoking a cigar...WITH A FILTER!" Ok, now, it starts to get to me, but I think to myself, these guys are a bit smaller than me, I know there is two of them, but still, they're smaller than me. Also, alcohol is the courage medicine so it makes people think they are a bit tougher and bigger than they are. I'm not a jerk or anything so I still just leave it alone. Then they keep going on and going on saying Black & Milds are for girls and are saying I'm a girl and really, I just wanted them to shut the hell up and go inside of something. WIth no intention of fighting or being a bully I get quite loud and say "Look bitch, you're smoking a cigarette, cigarETTE! I'm smoking a cigar, you are smoking a cigarETTE, ETTE means it is the female version, like smurfs, and smurfette (yes I actually said that) So YOU guys are the bitches, YOU guys are the girls. YOU have a filter on you cigarETTE! You little bitch." Then I notice a beer cup on the railing, filled to the to with beer, so I smack it off the railing and into the grass. "Dude that was my beer" says tough guy #1. "I didn't see your fucking name on it, did I?" I reply loudly. He doesn't reply, and they retreat inside. The next morning, McBest tells me I intimidated the hell out of the 2 kids, I felt bad at first, but I'm over it. For those of you reading this that smoke cigarettes, I don't think your girls, it was just the first thing that popped into my head to yell at those guys. Also, no I'm not a bully, I am definitely not one of those people that goes to parties and starts stuff with people, like I said, they instigated it, I tried to ignore it, but I can only handle so much, plus I just wanted them to go inside. I had no intentions in engaging in fisticuffs. After that all happened, McBest left with some girl, I passed out on the couch watching the remaining to guests battle it out in guitar hero, experienced one of the roommates yell at them for being so loud while playing guitar hero since he had to get up early the next morning and graduate from college, I'd say he was understandably upset. Morning rolled in, I went and picked up McBest and headed on back to the A-Deuce. That's all folks.

Oh-Eh,
Kal El


“Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens.”-Jimi Hendrix

3 comments:

Jamie said...

Wow... I never knew you were such a Dunch man...

Sir Dunch

The Yank said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Yank said...

this was the most interesting thing i've read in a long time. no joke i was racing through it to find out if you got arrested or hit somebody or got hit. maybe it was the writing or maybe i kinda care about what happens to you Herman. anyways, i wish paradise lost held my attention so raptly. perhaps it was your sentence structure, it just rolled along.

(i had to fix one thing from my deleted comment)