Friday, February 8, 2008

Reality Check

Today I got a real reality check. The other day I was talking to EmLen about all the directors at DC and she asked if I was coming back. Seeing as how I didn't get a return app. and haven't been invited to any committee meetings this year, I never even considered coming back. She said there were a few positions left they need to fill so I decide to e-mail BD about the position. He calls me today and gives me the news that he wants to but there is no way they will let him. I admit there was part of me that could have cared less, but a bigger part of me that wishes I could for a few reasons. My first reason is it is going to be really weird since summer and camp have gone hand and hand for me for the past couple years. Another one is my first summer was probably the greatest summer of my life. I made friends that I know will be around for a long time to come, I felt accomplished because I felt like I was actually doing something meaningful for kids that needed it. Another reason is last summer was just a mess, after the summer was over I really wanted next summer to come because I didn't want to end my camp career on a bad note like that. My first summer I made friends at DC, I partied with them every weekend and I was a rather popular person over there. Last summer I made maybe 2 or 3 friends and about the same amount of "enemies" at DC. I didn't get invited to any of the parties or anything like that. I made more friends at RC that I did the one I actually worked at. The summer just didn't seem like can't and came along with everyday being long and hard and without really any feeling of accomplishment. To be honest I enjoyed my two weeks at RC more that I did the 7 at DC. This summer was just terrible, well not completely terrible I guess, there were some things that did their part to make it a great summer. I guess I'm just rambling on now without making any real points so here is what I was feeling after the phone conversation ended.

I was a bit upset about there being no possibility of me coming back because people there didn't like me. But knowing that the person that I actually care about their opinion did want me back made me feel better. I actually gained more respect for him for actually calling me and telling me the situation and making sure we were still friends.

So I guess this puts me on that blacklist thing that other people are on. Maybe I'll do like MLA and move on to a different camp, or maybe I'm just done with camp all together.

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