Wednesday, November 7, 2007

The Dump Files

So Monday night MLA came to the A2 to interview the always interesting specimen, Dump. How did I get mixed into the equation? Well if you know Dump, then you know he is absolutely impossible to get a hold of since he has no phone, no car, his computer is broke so no online, and to top it all off his apartment building locks, but doesn't have a buzzer system to get ahold of the people in their apartments. Retarded, I know. So MLA being an A2 rookie, she needed my help to get ahold of him. She arrives at my apartment complex and I see her drive by my window as I'm cleaning my room. So I call her, wave her down, and yell out the window to tell her where to park. Then decided to go outside and help her out because for some reason she reversed and stopped at my dumpster(I think she was shopping for something in there but she denies it, haha) Then we park, then get in my car and get Dump and go to Taco Bell. While there, I tought Dump how to eat a taco without breaking the shell, it's a science. Well to skip the rest of the boring stuff blah blah blah they do the interview, blah blah blah I play Madden during the interview. As we are wrapping it up and MLA is getting ready to leave back to A-Town. My roommates are having a "get together" in my living room. Being the alcoholic that I am and the bad influence that I am, I decide to drink and I convince MLA it is a good idea to stay and party with us, so MLA, Dump and I head to the store. Dump and I get excited because we found out they sell PBR in 30 packs, who knew? So of course we got that, came back and rocked the beer pong table. Weird thing is, no one was drinking before we left, we were gone for 15 minutes, come back and my roomies fiance is hammered already(faking? lightwieght?who knows?) The night was already figured to be an exciting night, seeing as how the trashy slutty girl was over and Dump an I hated her because well, she is a racist and had a problem with Dump last time he was here. But he stuck it out and stayed and had fun. As the night goes on, the fiance gets more and more drunk, and continues to hit on every guy in the room, even myself. I could tell the more and more it happened, the more it angered my roommate, but he didn't say anything. Needless to say, things were akward. Trust me, I did everything I could to repell her. Then, the trashy racist turns from Jekyll to Hyde in 2 seconds flat. She starts to give everyone in the room attitude, including me, so I just gave her smart ass remarks back, no harm no foul. So of course, that also made it akward. Towards the end of the night Dump, MLA and I just took the party to my room, not really a party we just watched tv, ha. There was a stop watch in my room that I could not for the life of me figure out how to stop so it beeped constantly. MLA being the vicious person she is, decides to perform her own version of Chinese water torture, and goes to set the watch next to the head of the trashy racist girl that no one liked while she was passed out, in hopes of drving her insane as she sleeps, i guess haha. So creative. So Dump passes out on the couch, I'm getting tired laying on my bed with half a PBR in my hand, but somehow MLA is not tired and keeps on trucking haha. She decides we all need another PBR so she goes to get them, I have to hurry and chug mine before she gets back, not fun. She comes back, we both open ours, she dominates hers, mine doesn't get touched, haha. Eventually, we got tired watching tv and passed out. We wake up, sit around for a while, then we decide to go to Arby's and get some food. On the way home we had to get coolant for German Lightning because MLA was afraid to blow up on the way home. We got it, filled it up and she was on her way. Fast foward a couple hours, Kit calls me and asks if I want to ride with him to Fenton to play Halo 3 with some friends, so I say ok. Dump comes with me, and I am an idiot and decide to ride with Kit knowing he won't be able to bring us back tonight like we need to be, I just figured I could get a friend to bring me back. Well, I was wrong, for a while. I called a few friends, one had a date with a girl(oooohhhhh) the other was in The Chi, then McBest refused to answer his phone. 11 o'clock rolls around and we have no ride, and have to run from B-Ran's house all the way from DC, up to the staff apts. Me being a dumbass and wearing shorts and flip flops. We get to the apts. and KMFP calls me, my savior. She tells me she can get her dads truck, pick up my matress(long story) and take me to school tonight. Dump asks me how my feet are since I ran with flip flops on and they went numb in the 2 degree weather. I say fine, since I finally get the feeling back, 1 second after saying fine I stepped on a tack, figures. I pulled it out and whipe off the blood, passed out on the couch watching Speed with Poof Cat and KMFP comes and wakes me up. We go to my house at 1 am and grab my matress and she takes me home. We had interesting talks about life on the way, good time. KMFP is a Goddess and a great friend. Ok this long ass pointless boring post is done, if you actually read through all of this, Congrats! You are amazing, and thank you for having that much interest in my life.

Kal El

"I'm just trying to keep things simple, and just be a little more offhand and not get so deep into things. Enjoy what you got right now, because who knows what's going to happen tomorrow. "-Bob Seger


Head Artichoke said...

Calling it the Dump Files was misleading. I read to the end though. What the hell is it with Bob Seger in this little community we have?

Kal El said...

haha the Dump Files was for MLA, kind of an inside joke, and I just liked the quote, and i figured i was over doing it with johnny cash and jimi hendrix quotes.

MLA said...

I'm very passive-aggressive, haha.